A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband is verbally and emotionlly abusing me. With this I have been in depression for two years now cause if this, and it's getting way worse than better. I lead my anger and deprrion on food, that now I'm obese. He doesn't understand that calling me names and making fun of me, is making me block all the words he calls me and makes me eat more. I really need help and need to talk to someone, but family and friends is out of the question. Is there any centers or groups who deal with the same thing I go through? I need help and don't know where to turn. Please Help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, krishiwishi  +, writes (7 August 2008):
I also am in a relationship like yours. I've been married 10 years and together 16. We used to have a great relationship until the birth of our son. I've been battling depression for years. Every little accomplishment i'm proud of he degrades it. I have gained 50lbs in 1 1/2 yrs. we haven't had sex in months he makes fun of my weight and my chidren laugh at his comments. I binge eat more for comfort. we argue over everything and anything and when I really get angery all the kids see is me being nuts and then points to his head and says because i'm on wellbutrin for depression that my twisted mind is not thinking right because i'm not normal. he is selfish and it's all about him 24/7 and i'm fed up and really do want out. But on my salary I couldn't make it and I don't want to leave my kids. I feel trapped.and don't want to move home with mom and dad they have enough to worry about!! feel your pain. Good luck to us all.
A
female
reader, sundae  +, writes (4 August 2008):
Hi, I think I can relate to how trapped you might feel.
I have a bullying, nasty, control freak of a partner, but with our life style & 3 small children in independent schooling, I'm trapped with it.
The abuse can start at 6/7am with comments about how pathetic I am/ugly etc. & continues throughout the day. I've had enough by dinner time, but don't turn to food but alcohol. this blots out any further abuse, means I can sleep later. My partner is an airline pilot, so you would expect better. But as my mother/doctor/health visitor advocate, I should have left him years ago, but I didn't hear their warnings. I would now find it difficult due to subsequent children's commitments.
It leaves me very lonely with huge committments, as he pays for nothing apart from the mortgage & school fees for the first two. & earns 3 1/2 time what I do.
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A
female
reader, anna32  +, writes (25 May 2008):
I really feel for you. I am going through the same situation. My husband bullied me for years particulary emotionally. All he would tell me is i would be nothing without me, and the only good things about me is the children I gave birth too. He would put me down, call me names. manipulate me infront of friends. We are apart nearly two years and he is still bullying me and controlling me. Wont take the kids when i ask he is afraid i might have a life. If he thinks i am going somewhere he will be late. He tried to turn all my friends against me and I feel exactly the same. I dont have anyone to talk too, my parents you can only tell them so much and I dont want them to worry. I have put on a lot of weight like yourself from binge eating. Its like a comfort food and instead of me sitting doing nothing i eat for company. I have gone to councilling which i find is a great help telling all your feelings to a stranger. You could also try the womens aid. There are organisations for abused women. Dont be afraid to ring. Just remember you dont have to be bruised to be abused. Emotional abuse is the worst form of abuse. Sooner he is out of your life the better. I know how hard it is. 6 years i did it for. Took him back twice after him promising me the stars and the moon. A leopard never changes its spots and keep telling yourself you are a good person. Once you know that, that is all the matters
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): I really feel for you. I am going through the same situation. My husband bullied me for years particulary emotionally. All he would tell me is i would be nothing without me, and the only good things about me is the children I gave birth too. He would put me down, call me names. manipulate me infront of friends. We are apart nearly two years and he is still bullying me and controlling me. Wont take the kids when i ask he is afraid i might have a life. If he thinks i am going somewhere he will be late. He tried to turn all my friends against me and I feel exactly the same. I dont have anyone to talk too, my parents you can only tell them so much and I dont want them to worry. I have put on a lot of weight like yourself from binge eating. Its like a comfort food and instead of me sitting doing nothing i eat for company. I have gone to councilling which i find is a great help telling all your feelings to a stranger. You could also try the womens aid. There are organisations for abused women. Dont be afraid to ring. Just remember you dont have to be bruised to be abused. Emotional abuse is the worst form of abuse. Sooner he is out of your life the better. I know how hard it is. 6 years i did it for. Took him back twice after him promising me the stars and the moon. A leopard never changes its spots
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 May 2008):
 Hi, I had a thought today, you could look at this website and see if there is a group there for diet and fitness, I'll bet there's one focused on people who use food for comfort.
http://yourtotalhealth.ivillage.com/diet-fitness
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 May 2008):
In reading the links provided by the government, it seems that your best bet is to contact your doctor. Here's a weblink for what I found:
http://www.cfpc.ca/English/cfpc/programs/patient%20education/depression/default.asp?s=1
I'll try to keep looking, but I think you need to have your doctor help you deal with this.
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A
female
reader, Rhian2020 +, writes (6 May 2008):
Hello,I'm so sorry to read about what your going through. You sound like a lovely,caring person and don't let anyone tell you different. Your husband is a bully and must understand that he can't keep abusing you like this. Please consider leaving him before he completely destroys you. I know that you say that turning to family and friends is not an option but they won't judge you. They will want to help you and give you all the love and support you need. I've looked at a few websites that may help you,http://bodyandhealth.canada.comwww.canadiancaloriecounters.comhttp://abuse-recovery-and-marriage-counseling.comYou need to concentrate on getting yourself healthy. If you want a private chat then message me.Good luck.xx.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 May 2008):
Hi, I think your best bet would be to talk with your physician or health care provider; you could call the local hospital for help in giving you a referral number.
I worry a bit that you feel you can't ask family or friends for some support though, are you feeling isolated? I'm sorry for that, but can you think very hard about one person who might be able to help you? Maybe you're not as alone as you think?
I'll try to look for some online support or a phone number but do call your doctor for some help right away. If you don't have one, then it is time to get one, right?
All the best.
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