A
female
age
36-40,
*udia
writes:hi, i am 23 yrs old and have been married for 3yrs.. my husband is a very nice person, he's loving, caring and loves me alot but when he's angry he gets violent.. he dont let me speak in front of him, he says i have to shut my mouth just because i am his wife (women).. he abuse a lot and use such kind of dirty abusive language he act like a mad man when he's angry.. i am very tensed about our relationship please help me out of it??
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male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (13 July 2010):
If you were from my country, it would be a very easy answer. Get out of the house, now.
But being from India, it's much harder. I used to live there so I'll do my best to help. If he's like this after 3 years of marriage it's not going to get better unless something really changes.
You have to come up with a plan. Is there an older trusted female friend who you can confide in?
You need to shock into realizing he's going to lose you if he continues, or you need a plan to get out of there. Maybe by leaving it will be the best way. He needs to learn to deal with his anger without taking it out on you. Maybe it's too late.
Please, please do not let things stay as they are. They may not get better. Please do something now before you have kids. Good luck.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (12 July 2010):
 This is a domestic violence situation. It doesn't matter if he hits you or not, emotional and verbal abuse is part of a pattern of controlling behaviour. It doesn't matter that he nice most of the time. Perpetrators of domestic violence need professional help to deal with their anger and abnormal communication patterns. I suggest you issue him with a final warning that you will leave him if he doesn't get professional help. By staying in this situation you are doing him or yourself no favours - it is saying that his behaviour is acceptable when it is not. You have to think about the future, particularly if that involved bringing children into an angry, abusive environment.
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A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (12 July 2010):
 Does he physically abuse you as well as verbally?
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