A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am 28 married with 2 kids. we got married in june last year but b4 then we used to have problems coz his friends tell him so many false stories about me.one time he came to my mothers home drunk and stsrted shouting on the top of his voice at night that i am a bitch, your daughter has slept with over 50 men and so many insults a drunk person can say. the next day he was sorry. ever since then i'm not sure i want to be with him anymore i intend to file 4 divorce coz he really hurt me deeply and our relationship can never be the same. should i forgive him or go with what i feel
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): I can tell you from my own personal experience that if he's treating you this way now, he will never change no matter what happens. My own husband did things like this a few times before we were married, and he promised to stop, said he was sorry etc. and I believed him. Of course when we got married things were worse, if I hadn't gotten to the laundry yet, cooked his food just right, didn't answer fast enough when he asked a question, well he thought I was his maid and would fly off the handle when things weren;t his way and would tell me everything he could think of that was wrong with me and much worse. I couldn't take anymore after 4 years of this, said I wanted a divorce and he left for a week. He then came crawling back apologizing and promising he saw how bad he was and wouldn't do it again. That was 2 years ago, at first he was very attentive and apologetic, we even had another baby. After 6 months it got bad again and now it's just as bad as before if not worse. If I was financially able to provide a good life for me and my kids I would leave. You need to get out and realize this is not how a marriage should be and you deserve better. Most people don't understand that because there are no bruises on the outside that it still hurts as much as if he were hitting you. I hope you are able to move on and away from this creep.
A
male
reader, salvation  +, writes (17 April 2008):
i have always good with my instinc and its never lead me astray. I always say only do something if your comfortable with it and it sounds like you wont be comfortable staying with this guy. So go with your feelings and good luck. Pm me if ya need to talk.
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A
female
reader, LOULOU1 +, writes (17 April 2008):
If you weren't married i would say yes, leave but things are a bit more complicated than that aren't they! If hes like that when hes drunk, then does he have a problem with alchohol? Does he do this often when he's drunk? He needs to understand that hes hurt you enough for you to be considering this action so soon. Perhaps some counselling if you feel you can't discuss this as adults.Marriage is worth a bit of effort but you shouldn't feel that you have to be with someone who can loose controll that easily.It sounds as though it was quite frightening. Hope there wasn't more to it, and I hope you can find a solution if at least for your children xx
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