A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear all, my husband fought with me in front of his friend and insulted me by tellin me that he will hit me and I should shut up...I couldn't believe that he could say such thing in front of his friend...what would any of u do if u were in my shoes...would u leave cuz now am worried about my future with him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 July 2012):
 First of all, don't fight in front of other people. I'm sure they don't want to be dragged into your arguments.
Secondly, I think you need to sit how down and ask him WTF was up with those statements.
I would also consider leaving. It might be a reach to say he WILL one day hit you, but to have the nerve to threaten you RIGHT in front of others? That is just one step away.
Is this "normal" behavior for him - to threaten you? to ague in front of people?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 July 2012):
 I agree with YouWish
was this the first time he said he would hit you
what did he tell you to shut up about?
are you afraid of him?
are there kids? are you afraid for them?
more info please.
if this was a one time thing, and friends were involved and there was any alcohol flowing, I'd be inclined to let it go as a one time thing but I would talk to him about it and let him know how it made me feel.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 July 2012):
 Let me get this straight. What was the fight over, and why did it have to be done in front of his friend?
Also, has he ever actually hit you?
I would worry less about it being in front of his friend and more about the fact that what he did wasn't an insult -- it was a threat of bodily harm. It was actually good that someone else was there to witness that, because too many threats, and actions, happen in secret where everyone who knows the guy thinks he wouldn't hit a fly when in secret, he's a wife beater.
If I were you, I'd tell everyone you know. Friends, Family, police if you're feeling like you're in danger. If he had the gall to threaten you with bodily harm in front of his friend, it's time to call him to the carpet in front of those who would be supporting you in the event that this guy actually does hit you.
I would prepare to protect yourself up to and including leaving him UNLESS he agreed to the both of you going through some extremely intense marriage counseling and probably equally intense anger management for him as well. Are there children involved? Do you have kids? Has he ever hit them?
The reason I'm worried that he's done this before (either hit you or threatened to hit you or pushed you or whatever) is because you weren't appalled that he threatened you, but were upset because he threatened you IN FRONT of someone. These behaviors always escalate.
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A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (16 July 2012):
It would worry me more that he said it in the first place, the friend presence is not even a factor. The verbal abuse is the deal breaker. Talk with him let him know that verbal abuse will not be tolerated. Drop the in front of friend issue. It would be just as terrible if he had said it to u in private. So address the verbal abuse. If u say I font like how u fought with me in front of ur friend and wished to hit me, he may not do it again.....in public but behind doors he may do it 20 times worse. So address the abuse.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2012): tell him "go on then" if he does it leave him, if he dont then you just called his bluff and put him in his place.
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