A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I just found out my husband has rented several porns that imply that the actresses are teens even though they are not. They are depicted as teens and the title includes the word teen in them. Should I be worried?
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (10 October 2007):
 Hi,
I think you are overreacting a little. Though you didnt really tell us much. Were they left lying around or were they hidden? You just found out, so I assume he hid them from you?
I imagine he did this as he probably knows you wont approve. There is a problem for a start,if you dont approve of porn then he is always going to hide it from you.
In many relationships ( mine included ) watching porn is just another part of the sexual process, neither me nor my wife have any hangups about porn, I personally dont like the teenage versions (I'm an ex-teacher and anybody under 21 is out of bounds as far as I'm concerned ) but I do like looking at well defined figures (women with large breasts and bums ) and my wife loves looking at videos with threesomes in it. This is just something we use for titilation , nothing more ,they make us horny as hell and after 10 years of marriage we are still gagging for it of each other. I think this is healthy not sick . We are entirely comfortable with each other and faithful.
For a lot of women I understand that porn is insulting as it often degrades women. I totally agree with this, porn is often all about men's fantasies and women are often treated as nothing more than objects. Maybe you could talk to your husband about this, there is plenty of female friendly porn out there, you could even watch it together? Life is for the living.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 If you have teenage daughters, esp if they are not his daughters, then yes, be worried.
If not, then it is just a festish, (the corpurtion of innocence and getting the girl he never could when he was a boy), and try to watch them with him, so he associates those feelings of attraction to you.
Personally, I get creeped out by adult men getting off on teen lookalikes, and I am more open minded than most about stuff like this.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, Emmajane  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 I disagree totally with the last answer. As long as he fantasises with porn he's not chasing the real thing. well over 50% of porn and many shops like Ann Summers supply things which enable people to play out the age-gap fantasy, and fantasy it is.
Maybe you could dress up in a school uniform and suprise him! You might be pleasantly suprised at the result.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): I would be very upset, especially over the teens part. That is a smack in the face to you I'd say. Definetly let him know that you know & ask him how he'd feel if you were renting pornos with teen boys in them?
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A
male
reader, Bronze +, writes (9 October 2007):
If renting the films is not something that the two of you don't do as a couple or he didn't consult with you prior to renting the films, then you might want to make him aware that you know about the films. Also, is it the fact of the pornos implying that the actresses are teens, even though they're not, or the fact that they're pornos, period?
I've seen a few relationships end because of pornography. Not because that they had it, but because they where hiding it. If the films are not your cup of tea, then you should approach him and let him know that you know of the films and that you'd rather not have them in your home. If you are okay with the films, then you need to let him know. The last thing you need in your relationship is to start hiding things from each other, and pornography is simply something he shouldn't hide.
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