A
female
age
51-59,
*iami Girl
writes:I left the house after an argument with my husband 10 days ago. He does not have an easy temper. I sent him an email with the demands of no more drinking and a couple others. It has been one and a half week and he has not answered my one email explaining him my feelings or called. I am sure he does not have another woman. Trust me!! It seems he has isolated himself from everyone and does not tell anyone that I am no longer home when they ask for me. I am 6 months preagnant, confused and troubled. He lost his brother a few months ago and it has been hard. How can I interpret his silence? He does not care? I love my husband, and want to fix the drinking problem before the baby is born. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miami Girl +, writes (24 August 2009):
Miami Girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your answers. I a came back home. I was able to speak with him very briefly before he left town. He does not believe he has a drinking problem. I hope that when he returns from his trip he has a better vision of what he wants to do with our future. I will keep you posted. I am not putting up with his drinking, getting home late and bad temper. I have to set the example for my 12 year old and this baby on the way even if his brother passed away. HUGS
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (19 August 2009):
 WHOOOOAAAA wait a min you told him he cant drink whyyyyy?
was it a problem you dint say. was he violent was it affecting his job or did you just not want him to.
I would say apologize and ASK him to return so you guys can talk.
...............................
A
female
reader, busy04 +, writes (19 August 2009):
 Well if I got an email of "demands", I'd probably not respond either. There may be a possibility that he didn't read it (of course,I don't know that for sure, just saying that could be the case, but you know your husband more than anyone)
Why don't you try to talk to your husband in a gentle way (as much is possible) instead of leaving & demanding changes through an email, tell him how you feel about his drinking and all the other things you need to say as calmly as possible so it doesn't turn into an argument & you won't have to leave your home. You said that he lost his brother a few months ago...the man is clearly suffering here, and you have a baby on the way, this may be a lot for him to deal with at the moment. Why don't you go home and talk to your husband, don't leave him to change things on his own, be there to help him & when he sees that you're willing to help him change, the more he may recognize the problems & want to change them. I'm not saying that you have to dismiss his actions like nothing, and let run you over, I'm saying try being more supportive(not saying you aren't). Especially since you say he has a drinking problem, that doesn't just change overnight, so help him make small steps.
I hope everything works out between you two & for you unborn:)
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 August 2009):
 I'm not sure you can fix the drinking problem. HE has to want to fix it, and it sounds like he doesn't want to. You might want to check this website out: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/S17web.html
There should be someone locally who can help you figure out your next steps.
I'm sorry I don't have more than that to offer you. I lost my best friend to the disease. She died nearly 3 years ago at the age of 46. She left behind a devastated husband. She simply could not get herself into treatment, for whatever reason. So my concern is for you. You have to take care of you and your baby. He may not be along for the ride with you and you should be figuring out your best strategies to deal with this. Hope for the best. Plan for the worst.
Good luck, I hope he does realize the seriousness of alcohol abuse and how it can destroy lives.
...............................
|
