Best friends who became more and now its a mess

A female age 30-35, *6570211 writes:

I am 20 now, but I met this guy when I was 17. We started out as friends. I never wanted to like him, mayb because he doesn’t look like the type I’d date. But nothing ever happened. Hed never tried to do anything. We moved out together 1 yr after we’ve been friends. So we were roommates, he already had helped me with 1 relationship. At this poin the’s getting closer to me best friend wise… I’ve never had a best friend. I’m not good with emotions. I always wanted a best friend but for some reason never had one. One day, we started talking about how btwn a girl and a guy something has to happen and so that later they can truly just be friends. So we kissed and had sex his first time. We started secretive dating because of out families. This guy is the best friend I never had we were ALWAYS together. We already cared about each other so much. We knew things about each other that many people don’t even know about themselves. We dated, but fought a lot. Mainly because of different cultures and opinions. We were the happiest in bed. After a couple of months, I broke up with him, but we would still hook up, then we got back, and then I broke up again. I told him I couldn’t be in love with him. He was in love with me. After a yr of the break up, (we‘d still be together unofficially) he decides he cant take it any more. He wants to move on and date other people. I say its fine, I even offer my help. It wasn’t fine. Cuz I realized I was in love with him. So now its been 2 or 3 months since we decided that, but we still make out, and recently had sex. The reasons why he doesn’t want to go out its because hes not ready to settle anymore, before he wanted to elope with me. And another reason is because we’d argue mainly cuz I don’t think im mature enough. He says im not in love, he thinks im used to him. We both want to be friends. Most the time we hook up I always start. Im a very sexual person unlike him. This week I asked him if we could date until Sunday night, when wed stop and then we move on. I want to move on, but its so hard to not be with him. Hes my best friend. Hes more than that. I don’t want to lose him, and I kno he doesn’t want to lose me. He wants to have me in his life and he’d do anything to keep me as his best friend. he says i deserve more. he puts me in this golden plate. But I don’t know what to do. I’m confused and I feel like I can’t live without him. I wish he can wake up and realized he wants a relationship and not casual dating. If it was another guy, I’d dump him, and get him out of my life. I mean I’d never take a guy who says doesn’t want to date me, but we can be friends. I don;t think I could. I need help. I don’t know what to do. I just want to be happy, and keep him as a friend. I know I cant change him even though I wish I could. I don’t see myself with anyone. I know there might b better guys out there for me. But we cant chose who we want to be with right?….help…

View related questions: best friend, broke up, move on, moved out, roommate, want to be happy

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A female reader, S6570211  +, writes (19 August 2009):

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A female reader, S6570211  +, writes (19 August 2009):

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