A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have just recently put my husband into a nursing home and i am just one year retired. I have been his advocate for various health issues for 15 yrs. (HE is 71 AND I AM 63) I AM in my early 60s not looking for a mate just get togethers with the opposte sex to discuss whatever. My husband has only been in the home since march. I am visiting him regularly but missing a night to dress up and wine and dine. Big, Big family on both sides, how do i deal with having a coffee with someone that that is only what i am intested with, in the meantime still being broken heartd with the decision I made. I have 3 children all married and 5 grandchildren but do like the adult contact. Do have a great group of friends that are married and all of a sudden i'm on my own. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (24 June 2011):
 Hi,
Sorry that your husband have been dealing with health issues for so long. I hope he starts feeling better and comfortable.
You've been a wonderful, loyal, caring wife. You also have been a wonderful mother, have raised healthy children and now they're all well with family of their own.
I understand that you want to interact with people and have a social life. Because you're a kind person you feel guilty. You've been taking care of your husband for so long that the guilt have become part of you and your life.
Its very admirable that you feel this way, but understand that you're a living human being. You breath, you have your own thoughts and your own feelings. Its ok to have your own private time to yourself. You deserve it! People need to release their energy somehow and going out, having a nice meal, talking to people about everything is part of life. This is how we regain our strength and having your own time will only give you more positive energy, so you can take better care of your husband. Its ok that your husband is living in a home care. Its better for him and you need help to take care of him.
As much its difficult for you to take care of your husband, I am sure he feels guilty also for giving you this burden. I am sure he's very grateful and he will understand you.
God bless you and your family. I wish you a happy, wonderful life.
Good luck!
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