A
female
age
41-50,
*sian
writes:Should i stay with my spouse after i have forgiven him twice for impreganating **PERSON-A**,who happened to miscarry on both occassion. I gave birth to our daughter (**PERSON-B**) three months ago and he is now telling me that **PERSON-A** had a child by him one month before **PERSON_B was born. Should i say i do or i don't he is now proposing marriage..Should i just move on with my life with my child or give him another chance.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): Oh my goodness, don't listen to them, that guy is HORRIBLE! How could he be so ruthless and cheat on you when you miscarried-he does not deserve you. You should not stay with him for the sake of your child, it's his fault for causing the problem and you should not suffer with him as a constant reminder in your life. So be it if he sees your child but I would not give him another chance with you. You deserve someone so much better and to settl for this man would be the worst idea. I see you care about your child very much that you would do anything, but bringing the child up in a loveless house will only cause more problems later on. I would not trust him one bit.Move on honey and start living a wonderful life without him. Do not listen to what he says, if he loved you enough he would not have cheated on you with person A. Simple as. Please let us know how you get on. All the best.
A
female
reader, asian +, writes (28 March 2009):
asian is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all those who responded to my question i really vaue all your opinions ....I wanted to give you some more details regarding the situation and I do want you all to respond and whomever else has good advice to give cause i am way pass torn...Lets start from the beginning.. I got pregnant in Jan 07 he was the happiest guy in the world.. Then in March i miscarried we were both torn ..I had to have a d&c done to get the remaining matters of conception..after this painful ordeal i just didn't talk about it i then had to go on family planning to get my body back on track as i was having bleeding issues.. We neglected talking about the lost of our child i justed wanted to forget about it.
Then it was June that i found out about Person A by then she too had miscarried.. I was hurt and he begged me to stay so wetried to move on but to me it was obviously not the same i could feel tension.. By Sept i found out that Person A was once again pregnant and this time I actually left him we parted .. but this guy kept calling me, and begging me, and started telling me that he can't be happy without me..We kept in contact and by Dec his mother came and we all got together and it so happened that we started seeing each other again and wemoved back in together..During this time person A once again miscarried..He told me when his happened and he told me how he felt i consoled him as i have had the experience of losing a child before. Before person A lost the child this guy made me aware of how he really wanted to have a child
he felt like he wasn't ever going to be a father as he was getting older and he now had lost 3 between me and person A..and a set of twins prior to our relationship.
The story goes on as before i then become prgnant had my little angel. this guy who is with me step by step throughout my delivery, named my daughter and act as this the best thing that could ever happen for him tells me that he had a child with person a one month before my daughter was born. I tell him its over cause i've been a fool for too long.. Love doesn't hurt and this is all he and he has been doing to me .
People who are close to me are saying what he did is wrong but my daughter should have the oppourtunity to grow with both parents and he now wants me to marry him as he says i'm the love of his life and he doesn't want to lose me,but is don't see how i could ever trust him
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): Speaking as a child from a nasty affair, I'd say break it off. That woman's child and yours will grow up broken if he stays around doing this. Although he should still stay in your life, he shouldn't be with you because it'll give mixed signals to the child. It may seem hard as well but think about the other child when they grow up. If they hear the whole story they'll think they're a horrible person and they ruined a relationship etc., I felt like that growing up. He shouldn't be damaging this many people and getting away with it. Either break up with him or give him an ultimatum. Hope it works out okay :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): he's not good enough for you, you've forgiven him before and this is how he treats you with the same person. Well it's his loss for being so irresponsible.
He does not have to have anything to do with you, but he has got responsibilities for your child, which should you leave you need to address.
I don't think you could live a fufilling life with him after this is the way he treated you. I say move on, and as you're considering it, it's saying something.
Best of luck and look after yourself and your child. You two are the most important people here.
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (28 March 2009):
 Fixed it Satin.. ;)
I wouldn't go by the saying the third time is a charm in this instance. You already gave him 2 chances to correct his digressions but he continues doing them with **Person-A**. You have **Person-B** to take care of and she should be your first priority.. and letting her grow up in a household where your husband will go out around town and give her siblings is not a good environment.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): Sounds like you've already given him two chances. What makes you think this time will be any different?
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