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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: My husband lost his sex drive and he is having erectal problems.And it is now our new reality.I can't handle this very well, mainly because the doctor didn't find anything wrong with him.He thinks ,I' m really mean with him, and he thinks it is not my loss, but his.I wonder how other healthy , good looking woman can handle to retire from sex at early 40 es?I totally don't know what to do? How to behave? And what should I plan for the future?Am I right to be upset? Or I need to just suck it up?Am I unreasonable if I get depressed about this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): There are a number of natural things he can do to increase the quality of his erections...check this out, send him here:
a href="http://mistermanpower.net/blog/?p=201
"Question from a 58 Year-Old regarding Impotence, Low Libido and Natural Erectile Dysfunction Treatments /a
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): And thanks for the support, yes I would like to take him for counselling, but after several check ups he still thinks he must have some medical problem, and not psychological, even so it is now 4 years of struggle.So ,that is why I 'm not sure,what can I do..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): Dear honey girl!If I would know, he is sick, and he has no emotional causes, what he has to face with and fix it,than I would be very understanding.In your case, you can be there for him, and not suffer from insecurities,as you know, it is not anything about you, but his condition.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): I am with "weparley". Understanding only goes so far..This can be emotionally damaging to both parties. Everyone wants to say understand how he is feeling. Hello, there are 2 people involved as much as it may be his physically problem it is also difficult for the other party. Yes I know where you are coming from.Good luck be safe.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): The doctor did not find anything physically wrong with him but this problem is so often a mental / emotional one. His pride and ego will get in the way of him talking about it but something is wrong and you cannot ignore this problem. I would look up all you can on the internet about emotional impact causing loss of erection etc It can be stress related, guilt, resentment, loss of self esteem or a combination. You need to stop asking for sex and take the pressure out the situation but you cannot let it drift. Eventually a reason must be explored.
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A
male
reader, weparley  +, writes (4 June 2009):
My suggestion to you.... "Find a lover"
I have to keep it real on this one. "But I will take the heat"
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 Did the dr not prescribe Viagra for your husband? I think that you need to be a bit more understanding of your husbands problem. A lot of men when they reach their 40's have erectile problems and it is how their partner reacts to this that makes the difference.
Being understanding and not acting like he is doing it on purpose and putting him under pressure to perform when he obvioulsy cannot can really cause stress in a relationship.
What I read from your post is that you are more concerned about your own lack of sex and not how your husband is feeling.
My husband was diagnosed as hypertensive and due to his meds cannot have a normal erection, this was a huge knock in our sex lives as we used to have an extremely active sex life [sometimes 3 times a day], the dr prescribed Viagra which has helped but now we find other ways of mutually pleasuring each other.
There is lots of hope for a future sex life with your husband, you need to be patient and loving and understanding.
Honeygirl
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