A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, here i am again. Asking your advice. Im 43 years old. My husband is 69. We are 10 years together and 7 years marriage. I love him and yes i know he love me too. The problem is 11 months ago, we found out that he has a stomach cancer, its a big shock for both of us. My husband never drink any single alcohol since we were together from the very first day. He is in chemo and for the last two months he start drinking alcohol and smoking again after a long years now he is doing that again. Im so worried and crying everynight because i feel that he is losing hope and destroying himself now. I understand his depression, his fear. I asked him why" he answered me. He avoid himself for alcohol for a long years and he said he think its over now. He said now he think he can do what ever he want now. Im so much down because i cant stop him. I understand him so much. I want to learn to accept the situation, i want to accept that this is the thing that i can not stop anymore. Im not ready for this, i know nobody does. But i need help. Im getting crazy, thinking that he is leaving me soon i feel that im gonna die too. Please help me. I need to be strong but i need a help for this. Please.. Thank you so much to all of you.. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2014): I am not a therapist but I would say, you can help him by making his remaining time as happy and comfortable as possible. understand what he is going through of fear and suffering and be the stronger party, and give him encouragement and most important hide your own fears and worries.Do not scold him for smoking and drinking and make life as nice and happy as possible for him.Please remember that death is an inevitable end to everyone. we all have to face it one day.Good luck.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 November 2014):
 I've never touched alcohol or cigarettes my whole life so it would be hard for me to relate to people who need them. I think people look at them as painkillers and tranquilizers when life gets too much. He's probably had cancer for many years undetected and now it's at an advanced stage. He knows he doesn't have much to live for so he's going to enjoy in whatever way he can. Cherish each day and live it. It can help him for his last years if he doesn't see you crumble into pieces. I think that's the thing that hurts him most. You can give him a wish list and activities he would like to do. You have to know that fear is always of the future. I hope one day you are able to have peace and do the most difficult challenge of all, which is to be aware of each present moment, your feelings instead of dreading the future. If you believe in God, the spiritual maybe you will find relief that there is something else there when the body passes on.
...............................
|
