A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Lately, my husband of 9 yrs. has been a little sneaky. he talks to all kinds of women, first of all he's a photographer OK. Now it's one particular friend that he tells her he loves her. Just recently, while I was doing laundry,a flavored condom (chocolate to be exact)fell out of one of his jean pockets. I asked him if its his or is it someone else's. He gets defensive and blames it on our 14 year old.I know that in this society kids can be sneaky, but he's not having sex right now. Should I be keeping my eyes out for my husband or just catch him in the act? He gives me a reason not to trust him anymore. What shall I do?
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male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (24 August 2012):
 Absolutely NOT his son's!How many clues do you want? He is playing away......
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 August 2012):
 Most guys will only plan to use chocolate-flavored condoms with their WIFE..... ONLY if you were to find a peppermint or Clove flavored condom do you need to be concerned....
P.S. IF the condom really WAS your son's... then it may be that he is secretly married. Has he been spending many nights, lately, on "sleepovers" with his "friends"?????
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): I don't know you need to sit him down and have it out with him his profession would be a real problem does he photograph naked women? Maybe he is cheating and really forgot about the condom being in there and thought of your son to take the blame especially not being in your sons jeans!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 August 2012):
To blame your son for a condom?
I doubt your son is that stupid - clearly not as stupid as your husband. Dig deeper, he's hiding something.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (23 August 2012):
 Perhaps he is getting some fellatio and wants the other person to enjoy the taste and spice things up while he is cheating doing extracurriculum activities perhaps that he don't want you to do or you choose not to do. Really why would he blame the child really.
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (23 August 2012):
 It does seem a little odd that you son would put a condom in the pocket of your husband's jacket. Does your son wear that jacket on occasion? I would definitely question this further.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 August 2012):
 How did he explain that it was your son's condom? Or did he just "state" the fact and you didn't dig?
I too would ask the son about the condom. It will be easy to gauge if it's a lie or not. He will either go what are you talking about, Mom?! or fess up. Either way, it's a GREAT way to get a safe sax talk in there.
It sounds rather suspicious to me.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 August 2012):
 Sorry but to me it sounds likely he's cheating on you. Why would your son put a condom in his pocket? If he's innocent why would he get defensive when you gave him such an easy out? I agree with SVC, ask your son about the condom and a VERY non-confrontational way.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 August 2012):
 Why would you think your husband has someone else's condom in his pocket... you gave him an out with the question.
My question would have been... "I found a chocolate flavored condom in your pocket... I'm glad you are practicing safe sex while cheating on me... what do you have to say for yourself"
this way he's already ON the defensive...
a man who laughs... is innocent
if he gets all angry, self-righteous, indignant or blames it on YOU... well then that says a lot to me as well.
also to blame it on your child.... so very low of him...
He's not trust worthy now and you have no trust.
let him know this.
tell him to tell you the truth... and then figure out if you can deal with it.
it's possible he's cheating on you
did you ask your son about the condom to verify it?
once you know that it's not your son's then you know your husband is a LIAR...
so he's PROBABLY a cheat and a liar.
do you want to live with this?
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