A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been married several years and our sex life has definitely taken a turn for the worst!! It's was great and all the time in the beginning but now it's good but very far between. Over the years my husband has made very rude comments during sex, and now I cringe when he wants to have it. Breaks my heart that he has said what he has..."don't want to have sex with me cuz u already had it" " u like it like this"...how do u get the ugly words out of your head? it makes me crazy and it's kills our marriage.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2013): You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, and if you feel that your husband is not honoring you, then you need to speak quite frankly and share your thoughts with him because he cannot read your mind.
Don't let yourself be hurt or upset without hearing his point of view - it really may be as innocent as him wanting to kink up your sex life.
You won't know if it's a big issue or a small one if you don't talk about it. It can't be resolved if you say nothing.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (13 June 2013):
 He sounds as if he is creating a little fantasy during sex, perhaps to spice things up.
Sex can become stale in long relationships and sometimes one or other partner might decide to add a little oil to the flame. You might be someone who shys away from a bit of craziness in the bedroom...but it's not a bad thing and maybe it's worth having a talk to him about what turns him on these days!...you might be surprised by what you hear but it's better than laying back and thinking of dear old England!! and living with hurt and resentment!
Marriages have to be worked on all the time and that does include the sex life, so have a chat and see if there is a little fantasy there that you can become a little more involved in!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2013): Wait...does he legitimately think you were cheating on him? Was that said in a nasty tone? Or is he trying to play out a fantasy he has, and is role-playing a little? Have you talked with him in a non-confrontational tone about where he's coming from (non-confrontational, because guys almost NEVER respond well when ladies get up in their faces) and why he wants to dirty-talk? Secondly, are you completely closed off to dirty-talk during sex? As long as you trust each other and are in a *loving,* respectful relationship, it can be quite fun. My sweetheart and I are in a very committed relationship -- he's my first, I'm his second -- and while he's a fabulous, attentive lover, he loves to say stuff like, "Do you love the way I give it to you?" or "Oooh, you like it like that." Of course, I reciprocate and make it very clear in my expression and actions that I consent to this. You're not painting us a very complete picture of the context...this could be either a nice man trying to spice things up a bit, or blatant disrespect. It's hard to tell at this point. More details, please? :)
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (13 June 2013):
This is a very sad situation for you and very unfair of your husband not to have any regard for your felings.Try and have an indept chat with him over this matter AND EXPLAIN TO HIM HOW HURTFUL HISBEHAVIPUR IS TO YOU.However if he will not talk to you on this matter would you youself consider going to have a chat with a counsellor and see what is the best way to handle this situation.Kind Wishes Nora B.
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