A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I went thru my husbands phone and saw a strange number and I read his text. He told a women that he has day dreams about her. Not night dreams but he intentionally thinks of her during the day. He asked her questions about heat she wears to bed, underwear, perfume type, ...the list goes on so that he can have better visual of her in his dreams. According to the text that he saves they have been in constant daily contact for about 6 months. I have no idea who she is but it appears she has at least seen him somewhere as she has made a few cooments about the last time she saw him he looked hot. I don't think she lives in the same state as we have cold weather right now and she is someplace where she is going to the beach...so I am not worried that he is seeing her. He gave her a Christmas gift too. His text to her are more or less about life stuff and flirty but not saying that he wants to have sex with her. He also has told her to listen to sons that make him think of her. I listened and they are all love and sex type of songs. He hasbtold her that loves me and that he just enjoys fantasizing about her. He said that he would never do anything that would interfere with her family so maybe she is married too. I confronted him andvhe told me that he loves me and our kids but wouldn't say who she was and has deleted her number so I can't contact her. It is a company phone so I can't access his phone bill. He said nothing physical has happened but he does fantasize about her all the time and he doesn't see anything wrong with it since he is not physically cheating. I give him everything. Sex all the time, spend time with him and do everything I can for him. Does he love this other women? He says he can't let her go. I don't know what to do because I love him, we have kids and overall he is kind to me,says he loves me and is a great dad. He allows me to be home and has a great job. What do I do. Why is obssessed with her. Please help me understand this,,,,,
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 I'm thinking it could be a woman that he works with. If he is a bit bored in his job they both may have struck up this unusual sort of friendship to aleviate bordom. Or he could be hoping for something more if the opportunity arose. Thing is, it's not acceptable is it? He is married to you. I wonder if he would be so accommodating if you were doing this type of thing with a man, i think not. Tell him to stop it, you don't like it. It's a pity y ou didnt write her number down and ring her to tell her to get lost.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): You are obssesed because this is cheating. Not physical but emotional cheating. Something similar happened to me, he would confide on this girl, talk about sex, but not sexual things to eahc other. STILL it was very uncomfortable... I understand you. Have you thought about speaking to this woman? maybe they contact through e-mail? o finding out her phone? he is so obsessed about her maybe she calls him from a different phone... I think maybe you shoudl tell him calmly and lovingly why it bother you and what would he feel like if you were talking to other men like this. Also ask him if he still feels the same way about you, or if he considers that you should separate.DO NOT BEG HIM G+FOR LOVE. HAVE DIGNITY.IMO you should teach your husband a lesson and go out and get busy with your life, get a make over, join a class, go out with friends. Try to go out and be busy and looking as pretty as you can, start excesising!! and taking care of yourself. I KNOW this hurts but it cna take your mind of it while still making you look amazing, your husband will realize what he is missing. Join a class, or a course or something, because maybe he is thrilled with this woman that has her own life while you are stuck home all day...so go out and live your life, or just go out with your kids and friends, and without him. Excesize , be confident and if he doesnt stop contact with this woman , tell him that you do not feel this is correct because you dont fantasize about other men and separate. You cna even ahve separate bedrooms. Talk to him, and start to improve yourself so that you feel confident and occupy your time so you dont think about them,,,if he doesnt change or stops talking to her COMPLETLY consider a separation.
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