A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i need help. My husband found out he had been molested as a child, but he doesn't know who or even when. He says he knows it happened. He has not wanted to have sex with me at all. He used to ask for it every day and he used to get off to porn when i said no, but now, he has completely changed. He told me that he is disgusted with sex and he hasn't even had an erection in 2 days. What do i do?
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male
reader, Biff160 +, writes (21 April 2009):
I dated a girl who was abused by someone. She had actually never told me or talked about it but it happened. This particular girl was very special in many ways but wanted no sex whatsoever. Many times the victim associates the act of sex with their rape/molestation. It takes time for them to build a line between pain/pleasure. Sometimes people never recover. In my case, she couldn't and unfortunately I had to move on.
Give him time and don't pressure him. I am also curious as to how he acquired this information? Was it in a therapy session? Sometimes with really old memories, they surface distorted or inaccurate. In many cases where old memories are uncovered they are influenced by TV, Books, and other things.
A
female
reader, pebble  +, writes (21 April 2009):
 Who told him that he was molested?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): This is a phase. Part of healing. It will pass if he is determined to get over it and move on.
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