A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm wondering if I'm a bad mother? My kids are 4 and 20 months. Both boys. My oldest is very hyper and we actually had him screened for ADHD and he isn't. But I swear he is! he bounces off walls. It doesn't matter what we do he's all over the place, hooting and hollaring and being loud. I have tried time outs, I have tried talking to him, I have tried even a spank. NOTHING works. And I find myself yelling at him more and more. I feel horrible.My youngest is very quiet, can play on his own but when his brother instigates I get very frustrated and start yelling again. I work. Thats my outlet. I did go through a period of time when I was home for a year with both kids while my husband worked two jobs. in that year I had several breakdowns. I wanted kids. We planned our kids. I love them to pieces. I cannot control how I feel for them its ingrained into me. The second I yell I feel bad but I get no time alone. I tell him to go play for a half hour, let mommy have some time to herself. He will walk away for five seconds and then come back all questions. I know its his age but its taking a toll on me. I keep trying to find things to do outside the house with my girlfriends and leave the kids with my husband. Because there are days I cannot handle it. Whats wrong with me? why am I so impatient and overwhelmed? Am I a bad mom? I love my kids to no end but I can't take much more of them driving me nuts.
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female
reader, summerslady21 +, writes (4 June 2009):
Ur blood pressure is very good! And feel lucky u have time for u! I don't work and my children r not in school yet. Lol it gets better you are far from being alone on this one. You ever need to chat about anything let us know I know I will be more than happy to help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry. My oldest will be 5 in sept. he goes to preschool two days a week and my mothers when I work.still going insane I guess its just the way it is. I had to go to the doctors for a unrelated issue (pink eye) they took my blood pressure 114/70 sooo I guess thats good considering there are days I feel like my head is going to explode LOLthanks all I'm glad to know I'm not alone.
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A
female
reader, summerslady21 +, writes (21 April 2009):
You are not a bad mom. I am a stay at home mom of a 4 year old 3 year old and a 1 year old. I don't believe that your son has adhd my 2 oldest do the same thing and trust me honey I get to the same point you do! Like you can't handle it or you're going nuts but you're not its all normal! I catch myself telling their dad they are just kids don't yell at them but then shortly after I catch myself doing it. He will calm down he is your typocial toddler male. Just try sitting down alone and run it through your head it will subside that's what I do and then we find a learning game to play and they calm down but he is just wanting more attention from you now that you are working. It will get better! I promise
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): no i dont think you are a bad mom at all, i too have two very young children, 2 and 4 years, and the eldest is very active, unfortunatley i dont have the outlet you have via work, and at times i do not think i can handle it.
But we do because these are our children, and no matter how stressed we get at times, we know that without them life wouldnt be worth living.
Keep taking the big breaths, before you know it they will be grown up, in the meantime whenever you feel stressed and about to shout, smile give a hug and stay calm, you will be amazed at the difference in the behaviour.
I wish you all the best
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (21 April 2009):
 I don't think there is anything wrong with you! After all you have two infant children and that could drive anyone close to the edge. Your toddler is too young to be diagnosed with ADHD reliably, but you could try finding trigger foods...it is not always the case bad behaviour is down to food but I know my 17 month old drives me crackers if anyone gives him white chocolate or fruit drinks. You have to think about the positive side - your children will get older and more independent with time. The oldest boy will be ready for nursery soon and he may benefit from that environment as it will tire him out.
I don't think you are a bad mom...unless I am too for shouting at my little monster!
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