A
female
age
36-40,
*uv joness
writes:in the pass, i have done something unforgiven! i am very regretful of it! i wouldnt let him down again! never! we got back together, we had a baby and got married! he works away, and i rearly go out! occasionally when i do go out, he dont approve it! he says im disrespecting our marraige if i go, and tries to be controlling! i love him to bits, and i wouldnt dream of hurting him! i learnt from my mistake! please help!
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (28 January 2008):
My dear it takes time and ALOT of it to repair trust.However,you need to make him feel comfortable with trusting you again.I personally feel you are trying too hard to please him and win his trust back and in the end you frustrate your original plan.You really have to talk about these things and the only major reason you've given us is going out.So i suggest you seriously evaluate yourself as concerns going out and make a decision that will end such arguments and mistrust.Continue being nice to him.Women have a way of softening a man's heart.With time he'll trust you more.
Good Luck.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 You try not to go out except when he is with you . This would show your love and make him happy.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 January 2008):
 Are you sure it's really unforgiven, or are you not allowing the room to be forgiven? Your going out is OK, it's not a disrespect to the marriage. He acts are based by fear. The fear that you haven't learned from your mistake. Remember actions speak louder than words. You can tell someone over and over again that it won't happen, but if it all ready had by actions that's hard to do. If you messed up by actions, you need to prove you wouldn't by actions as well.
Now it's not OK for him to control your actions. Here's my view on that. Two people choose to be together. One person chooses to cheat. The other person then has the choice to end the relationship or to forgive the person for their actions. Once forgiven, it's back to choices. If someone else cheats, then the cheated on can forgive or leave.
Now his making you feel bad about going out is not part of the choices. You have a choice to go out, if you choose too, it's fine as long as you adhere to and don't do anything that compromizes your marriage.
I think you both need to see a relationship counselor. It's time to work on the issues of trust, and control in your marriage. It's better to learn how to act and react now than it is when it's too late.
Take care.
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