A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I married since 1994. After four years later, we have first child my husband did not want to sleep with me on the same bed, because I breast feeding. But after my child turn one he still did not want to sleep together. However, sometime he came to my room to have sex that why four years later we have second child. Again, we did not sleep to together on the same bed for years that made me feel he does not love me. Even sometime we sleep together on the same bed but he did not hug or kiss or has any actions that tells me that he is my husband.Also, he never call me and said that he miss or love me. Sometime, I called him and tell me that I miss him but he did not response that he happy and let me know that he love or miss me too. What should I do? Should I end this marriage I am really love my children I don't want they suffer if we divorce. However, I really don't want to live this way any more.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 December 2012):
Children don't suffer from parents being divorced. Children suffer from parents being unhappy.
So before we worry about the children suffering, let's worry about the mommy and daddy.
Sleeping in separate beds may or may not be a problem. Some couples prefer separate beds or separate rooms even due to sleep disorders such as restless leg or snoring or even totally different sleep schedules or styles.
you say you get no affection just sex... well to me that would be a problem...
if you don't feel married to him but want to I agree with SAGEOLDGUY you need to talk to your husband and figure out what the problem is.
I am a huge believer in counseling... my hubby and I go and even though we have no plans to divorce or separate, we find that it helps us with our communication in many ways.
Would you consider counseling?
would your husband go with you?
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 December 2012):
It "sounds" like you and hubby have a LOT of talking to do....
YOU need to tell him about your feelings - roughly, of abandonment.... as you've described, herein....
AND, he needs to tell you how he feels about your marriage ... AND about the TWO children that you share...
Perhaps the BEST result you (and he) could get, is a decision to present yourselves to a marriage counsellor.. and ask that person to hear out the two of you, and offer advice for how you CAN STAY TOGETHER......
IF you find that you cannot (stay together)... better that you have investigated more thoroughly just what is going on between the two of you... rather than go to a conclusion based ONLY on what YOU are thinking/feeling, and what you "hear" on this site.
We (Aunts and Uncles) may be pretty wise... but we're NOT miracle workers!!!!!
Good luck...
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