A
female
age
41-50,
*adteacher
writes:My husband of two years is great, except that he does not and never has respected my profession as a teacher. He wants me to quit my job and go back to school to "do more" with my education. He says that life is too routine and he is not staying in the home town that we grew up in. Tonight he told me that he was leaving with or with out me. Please help me. I love him, and I have always felt that he loves me, but now I am totally confused on what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (21 July 2007):
 I am so pleased for you and i really hope you are happy again.
Take care.xx.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (20 July 2007):
 I'm glad things are working themselves out :)
xxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, sadteacher +, writes (20 July 2007):
sadteacher is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for the advice, it helped me when we later discussed the issue. It is a money driven thing. When I explained to him, that I do not necessarily work for the money, and that I would be willing to move, but not change jobs...he caved. He apologized and said that he just felt trapped in a routine at work, and that he would not really leave me. I explained to him that by him asking me to leave, it wasn't any different then me asking him to stay. Well we have worked it out, and are trying to figure out a compromise for the both of us.
Thanks again :)
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (18 July 2007):
Hi there,
Teaching is a very rewarding job. I can’t think of many jobs which are such a good use of your education. Does he mean that he wants you to earn mega bucks? I agree with the others – he is completely out of order trying to tell you what career you should be aiming for. He should be happy that you are enjoying doing a rewarding and stimulating job. A lot of people are not that lucky. How about the millions of people putting up with boring, dead-end jobs? He obviously thinks the grass will be a lot greener in a new place. Maybe it will be in some respects, but there are down-sides with every place as well. He may have personal issues at the root of this, and has convinced himself that running away is the answer. Ask yourself if you really want to go with him, assuming that you each get to choose your own careers. If you do, then make that clear to him. I would not agree to go and throw-in my career. He should not ask this of you, and I am wondering what he will think up next if you give way on this.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (18 July 2007):
If you are happy in your job then tell him this.
After my baby is born I will be going to university to train as a teacher as I think I would love to do this job and it seems like a very fulfilling one.
Your husband is being a little out of order asking you to pick between your job and him.
Can you move teaching posts to a new town, and will your husband want that?
It sounds like he's a bit jealous of your job to be honest. Maybe he hates his but can see how much you enjoy yours?
xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 I agree with flower girl. It should be based on your happiness within your job, not a job that he wants to pick out for you that you may not enjoy as much.
If you're happy within your job, he should respect that.
He seems to have the respect for you, but in the wrong kinda way...
He's forcing you into leaving the town in which you live because he doesn't like it? Does he have any respect for your feelings at all? He's said this to MAKE you move. He's blocking out all thoughts of your feelings so that he gets what he wants, when he wants it. Do you really want that kind of inequality and control in the relationship? If you agree to his demands, he'll have full control over you, you do realise that?
I think, as flower girl said - if you're going to stand your ground( which I believe you should) then I think him leaving is the only way to solve it. I think you deserve someone better, but in the end, it's entirely your choice.
Take care lovely.
xx
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (18 July 2007):
Ok as much as you love him, do you really want to stay with someone that try's to dictate to you what job you can have?
Will he not compromise if you say you are happy to move out of the town you are living in but you would like to find a job the same but in a different place.
If you do not want to leave him and he is addamant that he is going that is the only thing i can see that could possibly solve the problem.
Take care.xx.
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