A
female
age
51-59,
*B2
writes:I found out about 2 years ago that my husband is somewhat of a crossdresser. We have been married for 15 years. He said he's been doing it since adolescence. First part of our marriage I would find underwear, garters and he always would lie and say they were not his. Then after several years i came home one day unexpected and the door was locked so i started knocking well he came opened it out of breath and i said what are you doing. He turned very red looked very uncomfy and said come i need to show you. Well there in my bedroom under a blanket was a pile of my clothes and shoes. Said he would stop and there was no more. Well a few weeks later I found a box with tons of my clothes, earings etc. Things I didn't even realize were missing. I also found alot of OTHER items that do not belong to me.he worked third shift so theu could of come from anywhere. He seems so ashamed and apologizes and even cries. I also found all sorts of water balloons and my old bra's. Well this past summer I went away for work came home and he was acting very weird. I went to throw some trash away and noticed a bag (very securely tied up) i went to pull it out and he freaked out and asked me not to. I said is it what I think it is and he said yes (FOR ONCE DID NOT LIE)also asked me NOT to look inside and I agreed. I was cleaning up some things in our garage and found a blonde wig. again he told me he bought it and did not lie to me. He is working on opening up and talking about it. For along time I was bitter and angry and thought it was me. he has confirmed that it is something inside of him. He says he gets this urge puts it on, masturbates but then after he feels dirty and ashamed. After years and years of lies i started thinking he was gay. He said he is not and he cannot explain it. he said he's working on talking about it with me but still feels ashamed. I am in love with him and just don't know what to do. I feel betrayed when I leave and he feels he has to do it when I am gone. I started not wanting to leave him home alone for fear this would happen. But I have come to the terms he's gonna find a way and I cannot watch him - im his wife not his mother...He loves using my vibrators on ME only and we have a wonderful active sex life i just with two teenage children am afraid for him and don't understand....
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male
reader, kumarsaanu  +, writes (11 June 2010):
i m also a cross dresser from gujrat india..thats not wrongs..when i m just 5 years old..i liked girlish things...when i m alone in my house..i like totally girly things..i like wear saree salwar kameez lahanga chunri ..skirt top...& fully makeup like nailpolish payals bangles nacklesh lipistik maskara eyeliner bindiya sindoor earrings nosering &choti...so no tension 4 ur husband habbit...always support her....
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 May 2010):
 Thats great! I am glad to hear that you can both enjoy this, and that is absolutely the best option. However I will suggest you buy him his own stack of clothes and underwear so he doesn't stretch out/use yours. More hygenic, better fit for him, you will get to keep yours alone, and I think it might feel better for him if he has his own stash of things so he doesn't have to "steal" yours.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): Sexuality can be complicated. If he does what he is supposed to in the marriage; and if you can tolerate knowing, let it go. Don't let something like this ruin a 15 year old relationship.
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A
female
reader, SB2 +, writes (19 May 2010):
SB2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did suggest him wearing my panties during sex and he seemed to welcome it. I dress up for him alot (he LOVES it)stockings, garters, thongs, lacy bra's, nighties etc etc and shoes (his biggest fetish). At first i was opposed to this and did some reading for several weeks and surprisingly alot of men enjoy the feel of women's clothes and wear womens clothes. So I figured I would surprise him and offer him to wear mine with me. Thought I would feel ashamed but the complete opposite. More aroused than anything.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (19 May 2010):
This is a sexual fetish and desire of his that he is ashamed of. Hence he hides it. Try to investigate it more, look up cross-dressing online or in libraries. Then talk to him about it. Does the thought disgust you? Or are you open to accept it? If you are open to accept this from your husband (no doubt he will just continue in secret if you do not accept), offer to watch him dress up and go about his business, and be included. That way you wont feel he is going behind your back or lying. He only lies because of the emberrassment and shame, and not to hurt you.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (19 May 2010):
 If he truly feels ashamed of what he's doing, and that is a big IF... then he's got to get some professional help. It may be hard, and it may be extremely embarrassing, but again... if he wants to stop then he's going to need help. He obviously cannot do it alone, and the responsibility shouldn't just fall to you.
Many times in cases with cross-dressing (but not all) there is something from childhood that sets this off. This is where a psychologist, psychiatrist, or a counselor can help.
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