A
male
age
36-40,
*he godfather
writes:hi everyone and i am sorry for my English i really need some help and thanks for everyone that will answer me i have been in a relationship for a three an a half year it was the best what happened to me the girl i met she was wonderful in all ways i was her first love and we did everything together the only thing was missing is a ring in our fingers we had alot of fights its normal when two persons wanna discover each other i think we did alot of mistakes and we cleared everything and we moved on like every normal couples there was so much up and downs in the relation but we love each other so much and i love her so much i cant even stand the idea that she will belong to someone else the thing is my she started to be disrespectful to me in all ways and she have being cold to me and i didnt know what to do so i tried to talk to her and let her open herself and tell me whats wrong , so she started to act like a B**** and sorry for saying that but anyway she cheated on me with a guy she met in spain while she was in vacation with her sister and her friend and i discovered one night that he is emailing her and they r talking everyday every night she was calling him her baby and how much she misses him and all the stuff she used to tell me she is saying it to him. When i knew about it i went to her and told her that i knew about the other guy , she said that it was nothing and she was just proving something to herself and she dont wanna loose me and she love me so much and i am the only uy in her life that she will spend her life with.then she said that she cant be in a relationship because she cant give me what i deserve from her and she is confused she dont know what to do . after all of that i forgave her but she hurt me so bad but i didnt care because i dont wanna loose her and i realy will stand up for her no matter what will happen. after that we used to see each other eveyday talking on the phone telling me how much she is sorry and even though we r not in a relationship she will be my wife and and and... until one day i didnt hear from her for two days so i called her many times and i was texting her and when she answered she said to me that i am asking too much from her and she cant stand it anymore so we fought and hanged the phone in me face and then we fought agan and i hanged in her face until today i saw that she added the same guy she cheated on me with and other guys and she knew that i hate seeing her contacting with guys because i got jealous ( i dont mean that she is not allowed to talk to guys or any of that) but making conversations with them or ...... anyway i talked to her today and i was saying to her that i just want to wish u a good luck with the guy u cheated on me with and the other guys u r adding and beeing with in the parties and stuff , she went crazy on me and telling me that its nothing to do with me anymore and why i am caring about that and there is nothing between her or anyone and she was really hurting me in her talking.the thing is i really love her and i dont wanna loose her i have no friends no one where i live and what made me be that crazy and almost loosing my mind and be angry while i am talking to her on the phone it was because she was saying to me things and do another things and telling me how much she love me and she will never be to someone else and and and then leave me and treat me like a puppy who was crawling to her to bring her back. i know i shoudnt do all of this and i should delet her from my life but i couldnt do it because this is how much i love her even though she cheated on me . please need some answers would she come back to me ?or what should i do ? will she regret being without me and never see me and being with this other guy that she just saw him in a one week vacation? thank u all so much and god bless u . sorry if that took to long but i really dont have anyone to talk to and its really break me .
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cheated on me, jealous, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, the godfather +, writes (28 May 2010):
the godfather is verified as being by the original poster of the question dear Oregongrl
thak you man for ur reply and for pushing me forward and understanding my situation thank you and thank all of you who r keeping me feel right about my self
u know in my mind i feel like i dont wana evern see her and tell her anything or even do anything but when it comes into my feelings and when the heart take charge i dunno what happening to me
i will take your advice and let it go and no one knows what will happened after .. yes i dont need this and i dont need to feel and be in this situation i didnt do anything wrong
so this is what god wants in the end and i will leave it to him ....
gob bless you all and thank you again
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1  +, writes (28 May 2010):
Dear Confused!
I know it can be a hard thing and lonely!BUT sometimes you make it harder on yourself then you know! but yea it's always good to talk about it we can only give you advice and how you take it- it is up to you. so her'e it goes. first you need to chill ok, shes confused too! and yes not letting you go just yet! she is keeping you on the string incase things don't work out for her and i think that is very self'fish of her. but see you are allowing it because you do'not want to lose her? but how can you make the right choices and see things in a much different light! if you don't give your'self or her some breathing room. you are all she knows and she is scared too! but you have to give her room not saying that it is ok for her to have her cake and eat it too! but if you love her let her spread her wings and if she does not come back there is nothing you can do but move on i don't mean to be harsh but the reality part of it is life! and maybe if you man up and tell her it's not ok and that it is not exceptable that she needs to choose because your life will go on no matter what her decision is don't be nasty about it or let your anger play a roll in it be calm and sincere and tell her yes you love her but that you wont and will not live like this and you will move on. and stand your ground (TRUST ME) i mean she might take your advice and move on her'self, or she might stay? but you know iam a different breed i would never tolerate it. but people are different and so is there pain. so they would rather go back into an unhealthy relationship so they wont have to feel the pain. but my motto's always been if you are going to hurt when you are with them you might as well hurt with-out them and get over it!!! please know that you are a good person and that you don't need to be treated that way that you can make better choices whether its in relationships or choices period. because i promise you you may not feel like it at this very moment but time does heel a broken heart and there are good woman in this world and one day you will look back and maybe pass on this advice to some'one like you who needs it.
Best Wishes!!
Oregongrl
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A
male
reader, the godfather +, writes (28 May 2010):
the godfather is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello and thank you Cerberus for encouraging me and for your reply i know we did broke up for a very good reason
i love her so much and i am playing so strong in the real life but when i am alone god knows i am feeling and such a message like she send to me today it was like the happiness all over me but for minutes then i was thinking about everything what happened and the way i was treated with ... so i didnt know what to do
i will be honest here i dont wanna fool myself i really want her ... when i think about her i remember the first time we met and i really know she is still but there is someone missing up her head and making her be not herself anymore .. but in the end what happened its not a small thing. thank you my friend for ur support and for ur reply i was thinking about send her back: "Well you are the one who broke it off with me, so I don't know why you are talking to me like this..."
what do u think should i do it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): It is normal to still have such strong feelings as she does, keep your response as neutral as possible. Chances are she's just going through the usual break up process.
The realtionship ended for very good reasons Godfather and those reasons are still valid. I'd leave it to be honest and not text a response to that, you just don't know why she sent that message there could be a lot of reasons, she could have been drinking, feeling weak, just been rejected by some other guy etc.
If you fon't know what to answer then you shouldn't, you're living this situation and you know her, if you can't come up with answer then I don't think any of us can. Stay strong and do what's right for you.
Good Luck Godfather.
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A
male
reader, the godfather +, writes (27 May 2010):
the godfather is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi again everyone
please if u can help me with this one ,,, recently my ex started to send me messages and asking about me and how i am spending my times and and and .... the thing is i was so neutral in my replies and i was showing her that i am feeling so great and everything is good and having a good time ...
but today she send me a message telling me that she still love me and she miss me so much and thinking about me everyday
please i dunno what to answer what i should write to her back or i should leave it ???
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): Your letter needs a short but honest answer and the simple answer is the relationship is over. Your spending too much time and energy on the girl and with very little or positive response back, this is making you angry and disturbed. Look at the relationship as three and a half fantastic years together and end it there, move on and join a club or two to meet new people.
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A
male
reader, the godfather +, writes (19 May 2010):
the godfather is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u Cerberus so much for answering me and give me this advice i really appreciate it i am really hurt and my heart and my mind not stopping from keep loving and thinking about here everyday even though she is have done all of this to me but i really believed her and she love me so much that i could see it into her eyes 10 days ago before she stop contacting me and told me that she want for us to be apart and everything will come back to normal by time i really need her by my side and i cant stop thinking about her all the time and i cant stop remembering all the things we had and we shared i really cant stop seeing her coming back to me but even though its hurts me the most when she added this guy again .. i just dont wanna loose her i dunno what to do to stop thinking about everything and be the same guy i was before this relationship even though i dont want to. god bless you my friend and thank you so much
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): You know what you have to do as you stated it in your question. No matter how much you love her, you must realize that the pain she is causing you will not end it will only get worse. Your relationship with this girl is, in my mind beyond salvage, you can't trust her anymore.
Not only has she cheated on you but she's begun to look for new relationships already, she's looking for a way to leave you and once she has found someone else she will be gone.
You know all this in your heart, you know that you are no longer the one for her and she is moving on.
I'm afraid the thing you least want to happen is happening and it's going to be a long, painful process unless you end it now and begin the process of healing.
This is already tearing you apart, you can't let this go on any longer. You need to end it and you need to get full closure. End it in a way that there's no turning back. I would have thought cheating and continuing to contact and flirt with that guy would have been enough for you but you seem desperate to cling on to the hope that this isn't really the end. But it is, you need to ignore your heart and do what your head is telling you to do.
The heart will often try to convince you that things will be okay if you keep trying, that theres always a chance but your head is what you should listen to.
It will be very painful to break contact but not as painful as a long drawn out break up will be. Do what you know you have to and begin the process of moving on.
I wish you luck, none of this will be easy, but the sooner you leave the sooner you will recover.
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