A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have married and moved in with my husband within the past year. I'm finding he constantly criticises me, mimics what i say or actions i do (sneeze, cough). I'm nearly scared to speak. I've told him to cut it out but he just laughs says if I did it to him it wouldnt bother him. Cannot get through to him how much I hate him treating me like this - it feels like a lack of respect. Any suggestions...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2013): If he wont' stop despite you asking him to repeatedly, then you should divorce him, not to manipulate him into changing or teach him a lesson, but because this isn't how a marriage should function and it's better for you to have the opportunity to meet a new man in the future who will treat you with respect and have a marriage based on mutual respect and consideration. but the door to that future opportunity will be closed as long you're still married to this jerk.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 March 2013):
 My husband says things all the time and I tend to take it as criticism. We’ve talked about it and I have found out that it’s NOT meant to be critical but his TONE comes across that way. I’ve learned to let a lot of what he says roll off my back because if I get hurt or upset and I say something to him he gets confused as to why I’m upset… he didn’t mean it to be critical and can’t see how his tone makes it so. But it does. So we are still working this out. Maybe that’s part of the problem for you guys?
As for the mimicking…. If it’s ALL the time and he can’t help it, it may be an organic problem or he may be doing it because he knows it bugs you…
The key is he said it wouldn’t bug him if you did it, that means (to me) that he’s not doing it to bug you but rather that’s the way he interacts with the world.
I’ve tried to explain to my hubby how I feel but he can’t wrap his head around it so what I do is shut down on him. I only answer his questions with yes or no answers. Anything that requires an opinion or other comment is “I don’t care” I sit very prim and proper on the couch next to him…. My body language alone normally is enough to let him know he’s overstepped my levels of tolerance with his behavior.
You two are newlyweds and new at living together…. Would he consider some counseling to talk about these things?
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (28 March 2013):
 Hi
It would drive me nuts too, did he show signs of this behaviour when you were dating or is it just while being married and together?
Tell him you can't stand it,its not funny to you and unless he stops,your leaving.
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A
female
reader, jenlarlham +, writes (28 March 2013):
Ask him how he would feel if you would disrespect him? Whatever it is he finds disrespectful that is. The problem is not that it wouldn't bother him, the problem is that it does bother you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): Could he have echolalia? http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echolalia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): Is he being nasty OP or does he just thinks he's being funny?
If it's the former I'd move out until he sorts out whatever issues he has and not go back until he has. If it's the latter I'd tell him it's getting so serious that you're not sure you'll be able to live there if he carries on, it's ruining things for you. If he thinks he's only joking and it's fun and he won't listen to you when you make it clear you hate it, then that will show him how serious it is.
It's not an ultimatum just a statement of fact that you don't want to live that way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): RUN
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): my husband is the same way. and yes it does get annoying at sumtimes but i have realized that is the reason i fell in love with him so i just let him be him.... and if it still makes u mad find out what gets him mad and do it to him
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 March 2013):
Well, the only advice I can give is to run for the hills. If he's being a jerk this soon, I wouldn't be looking forward to growing old with him if I was you.
The only other suggestion is marriage counseling. It's expensive, but better than the alternative.
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