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female
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*ailygrat
writes: Hi Guys, What should a woman do if her h tells her that he finds the women in porn so much more beautiful than his wife? Especially if the wife takes great care of herself but he is unhappy about changes associated with aging and having been pregnant. (ie things she cant change Should she pack up the kids and leave or live her life knowing her partner finds her less physically attractive than some pin up even if he has stopped the comments at her request she always knows the way he feels??? Just needing some advice please. This came out after she asked him about his porn use and criticisms and comparisons between her body and porn stars
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): I read Christaan's posting and I found his words very wise and I concur. We should all feel lucky and blessed with the people in our lives, who love us. Marriage is total acceptance for who we are and who our partner's are.Your husband has a problem with appreciation and respect for you, so therefore he is no longer a good, loving husband. And this is sometimes, what the effects of porn does to some people's minds-it's quite insidious-it can become like a drug. People get titillated for a few minutes and then they want more...and more. Sadly, these people don't realize how they are becoming drawn into it. You are not the center of his love anymore, dear. He is the center of his own selfish love, with the help of whichever silicone goddess he chooses. I would recommend sitting down and talking to him about what has been lost in this marriage for both of you. Perhaps it is time to remove pornography from your home and learn how to focus on each other. If he's unwilling to counseling or help you get this marriage back on track, then you may no choice but to leave him to his fantasies and leave this situation because his interests will continue to down grade the sanctity of your marriage and family. I am so sorry. Take care, my dear
Hugs, Irish
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): Yeah by all means break up the kids family and scar them for life to satisfy your vanity.
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A
male
reader, Christiaan +, writes (8 December 2005):
If he dont love you for the way you look,then hes not worth it,my wife who i have recently split up with,also has had children with all the signs to prove it,but i still would give anything just to be with her again,just to look into those eyes and see that smile again,if he only wants a good body then he should have married a model and never want her to have kids,as my wife looked this way when i first met her,as the kids arnt mine.He should feel lucky he has someone,who loves him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): did you come out and ask him to compare or did he just kindly volunteer the information? either way if you have strong feelings against pornography because you feel it is a form of cheating, and many of us do, then you should consider leaving. some women don't have a problem with it, and it doesn't interfer with their relationship. I myself, chose not to be with someone who drools over porn sites and magazines and drools over me instead. sure you will always find other people attractive but to gock or act upon it (even by *#*%%#### to porn) when you are married, at least for me, is wrong. good luck, and you deserve to feel good about aging and not insecure with how your husband perseves you.
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A
female
reader, Sami +, writes (8 December 2005):
Your husband is being inconsiderate to your feelings. Your body may not be like a perfect porn star because you have given birth to his children! Those porn stars probably work out 4 hours per day because they have nothing else going for them because they are messed up in their heads. Most of them have psychiatric and drug problems. Ask your husband if he would like to share a life with someone like that? Why don't you take the kids and go on a short vacation and leave porno-man with his phony porn stars to keep him company. Men always want what they can't have and you might be one of those things.
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female
reader, dailygrat +, writes (8 December 2005):
Thank, he has given it up and stopped the criticisms but Im still hurting because I know what he really thinks of my body
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): When someone in a relationship is looking at porn and it becomes a problem in the relationship it then has to stop, if he is not willing to stop looking at the porn i would just walk out that door, if he is choosing you over it then he is obviously taking you for granted, if i was you id leave and tell him that if he wasnts to sit around and get off at porn all day and then expected you to take his shit about how your not just like them well tell him thats fine if thats how he wansts to live his life but its not how you want to live yours, you should leave and go find yourself someone who deserves you and treats you with a little respect.You need to get your self confidence back again and being with him is only going to make it worse, no wonder why your worried about ageing, or if you dont want to leave him why not give him a taste of his own medicine, everything he has done and said to you thats been hurtful you could do to him, im sure that will make his blood boil.
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