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*awnsha
writes: Is the ex on his mind more than me? My husband and I have been married almost 7 years. He was married to his ex not quite 3 years. Still, whenever anyone asks when MY birthday is, he says her birth month. If he checks horoscopes in the paper, he think's I'm HER sign. And one time someone asked my middle name, and he gave HER middle name!! Help! He has ADD, but if it's an ADD issue, wouldn't he also forget her details as well? I've told him how much it bothers me, but still it doesn't change. He doesn't speak with her or anything, but still... Am I over-reacting? I've tried to calmly handle this, but it's really getting to me... HELP!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2005): This might be completely unhelpful but is it possible that with his ADD there are certain facts and numbers/dates etc. that he had drilled into his mind when he was with his ex and he answers with these answers becuase of this? Im sorry if this is way off the mark but maybe its something he doesnt even really think about when he make a mistake and he thinks they are harmless. Perhaps you should sit down with him and tell him that it upsets you and that he has to make a huge effort to stop this and maybe help him to drill your birthday etc into his head. Sorry if this is no help!
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reader, heyitsme09876 +, writes (23 May 2005):
Ohhh honey, you're in a bit of a bind on this one. I have to wonder if this was happening before you got married as well. If so, it probably should've been resolved before you made your relationship permanent, but since that's all said and done, let's see how you can resolve this. Try approaching the topic when you're not so angry about it. These things are better addressed with about 9 parts rationality to every one part of emotion. Try the old,"when you (insert action here) it makes me feel (insert emotion here). If this is not effective, I suggest couple's counseling. It may seem over-the-top, but hearing from a professional that his actions are inappropriate may help. It also seems that he may need a little help getting over his ex. Hearing that his prior relationship ended because they weren't really compatible could get her of his brain. Best of luck!
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