A
female
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anonymous
writes:I am so frustrated w/my spouse. We don't agree with how to handle door-to-door salesmen. I prefer not to answer the door. It spares their feelings, and keeps them from wasting my time.My husband on the other hand cannot resist answering the door, and then he gets trapped for 30 min. because he doesn't know how to extract himself and end the discussion. What is wrong with a firm thank you, but I'm not interested? Luckly we don't have too many of them but.....The other night I came home from work tired and starving and found some strange guy sitting on my couch in my living room trying to sell my husband an alarm system. Not only was I upset that he answered the door to yet another peddler, but he actually invited this one into our home and there he was sitting on my couch, looking around at our flat screen TV's our computer, our stereo. I went to the back room and stayed there to keep from saying something rude but when the guy used our bathroom my husband tried to coax me into coming and listening to his sales pitch. I refused.I was so furious with him and I felt like he disregarded my personal feelings of safety.The guy wasted an hour of our evening and didn't make a sale, but my husband told him he'd think about it and to come back tomorrow night. I couldn't believe it. He was actually considering this?We already have a good alarm system monitored by a reputable local company that's been around for 25 years. Why would he relinquish that to some fly-by-night company we've never heard of and if the system doesn't live up to the promises made by the guy who came to our house, he'll be long gone by then, and we'll be stuck calling some 1-800 number to complain.When the guy finally left I tried to reason with my husband and it became quite clear he hadn't thought everything through and he wasn't about to admit it.Now it's more about his pride than making a good decision and it's driving me crazy. Just like clock work the guy came back tonight after we got off work and since my husband was in the back yard I blew him off and wouldn't answer the door. He knew we were home, I was hoping he'd get the hint.But no, he came back again after 9:00 PM and rather than tell him we had thought about it and decided against it, my husband answered the door and strung the guy along for another night saying he was too tired to discuss it tonight but please come back tomorrow night. This time instead of being a patient wife I was last night when I actually thought I could reason with im, I threw a huge fit. I said, "You would seriously give your social security number to a complete stranger, your bank informaton (for the contract), because you're too proud to admit that your wife might be right for once?" The thing is my husband always has a hard time saying No to someone who "seems nice" or someone he "feels sorry for" wnether it's some pretty girl who gets goo-goo eyes at him, or some "honest-looking" salesman trying to sell us something we don't need.I am so freaked out that he might actually go through with this absurd purchase I can't even sleep tonight.I even showed him some articles on the BBB stating how many people have been scammed by door-to-door salesmen sellng alarm systems but he seems adamant that I'm not going to "tell him what to do" and he is purging forward with the idea.I even told him I wouldn't mind upgrading our alarm system to one of the fancy ones that has security cameras and you can arm it from your phone, but not from some guy who blew into town to make the sale. There just seems to be no reasoning with him and I don't know what to do!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2012): I understand your frustration as I have dealt with this kind of situation myself. The way I got through it was to take a step back and calm down, and talk to my partner calmly about the fact that I was feeling unsafe with the situation. I realised that being upset and shouting and having a hissy fit wasn't working as it only made the situation into a matter of pride, which was not getting us anywhere at all. I understand how hard it is not to get angry in the situation though. Once I managed to talk to him calmly, I managed to find out that my reaction actually made him feel as though he had no choice but to yes to the person at the door, as to not would make him "seem less of a man". Logically why he cares what a stranger thinks is beyond me, but as someone who studdied psychology I could see his point, as men do think that way unfortunately.Also here is a link to a website in Australia for stickers you can put on your home to stop door-to-door salesmen from knocking. http://donotknock.org.au/ I went and got some, and included with the stickers is a form that can be filled out and sent to a government department, so if anyone knocks you report them. Since I have put those stickers up on my house, I have not had one salesman knock on my door. Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2012): Your husband sounds as if he has painted himself into a corner and wont back down now because it has become a matter of pride. Instead of a big hissy fit, which obviously doesnt work on him. Try crying and puppy dog eyes. Tell him you are scared this might be a fly by night outfit and ask him nicely to cancel the order. If he feels sorry for people and gives in to them easily, then that is the road I would take if I were really worried about the safety of what he is proposing. Then make yourself a few signs or buy some that state that cold callers and canvassers are NOT welcome. Stick the signs over your doorbell! That will keep salespeople away in future.
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (16 May 2012):
Does your husband have many friends? Because it sounds to me like he relishes these conversations as social events and enjoys the attention.
See if you can get a sign along the lines of "no salesmen please" for your door. Then the decision is made and hopefully no one will knock trying to sell something and he needn't feel rude.
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