A
female
age
36-40,
*aileyBurger
writes:My husband and I have been married for 3 months already. We went for tests because it's been 2 years since we started dating and we never used a condom and never have I fallen pregnant well test came back that we both have a problem anyway when I try to talk to him about pregnancy or AI to get pregnant he doesn't want to talk about it, never about something on that topic he even gets weird when I talk to someone else about it in front of him, his previous girlfriend got pregnant and he took care of that baby until about a year old when she told him it wasn't his so he is trained to handle them and always says he can't wait to be a father but I get the feeling he doesn't want one with me he says just not now when we are more stabilized but how come he was ready with her and it wasn't even his? He is now married to be but holds of having one or talking about having one, why?
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female
reader, HaileyBurger +, writes (30 April 2010):
HaileyBurger is verified as being by the original poster of the question I got our test results back yesterday and we have 2% chance in getting pregnant the normal way, so if it comes to that we really want one invitro is our only option, feels like I am never gonna be a mother!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): I have tried speaking to him he does not want to and tells me to stop nagging on him or gets upset with me
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 Maybe he's just not ready? He's been married for 3 months, it doesn't mean he should immediatly want to have children.
I wonder if he is still upset about the baby he took care of from his previous girlfriend. He took care of that baby, loved it and believed it was his own, only to be told a year later that it was someone elses! That has got to hurt! I think it's no wonder he doesn't want to rush in to having another baby because the last time it ended in him being hurt and betrayed and the child he had loved for a year was taken away from him! All those feelings were nullified as the child wasn't his.
It is clear that he IS open to having babies with you. He hasn't ruled it out and he has been for fertility checks with you, so it's not like he is against the idea. Maybe because you are now openly talking about getting pregant it's making the scenario more real to him and is bringing back feelings and memories from the child he looked after as his own.
Why not try to talk to him about his past to see if this is the case? And try to accept that he needs time before he is ready to try for a child with you. I know it must be hard to wait when you obviously really want a baby. But wouldn't it be better for the baby and your husband if it happens when he is really ready and happy to have one?
Good luck
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