A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my husband for 5 years and to spice things up we watch other couples on internet having sex and let them watch us.We are thinking about taking this to a next level and maybe doing wife swapping or maybe a three some, we have strong relationship and would not be jealous as we are confident in our love.Any comments or has anyone done this would love to hear??
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): I have been married to my soulmate for nearly two decades and were swingers a shortwhile during that time. At first, it was very difficult to get past our strick religious upbringings to truly express our fantasies. Thanks to the unconditional selfless love we have for one another, we were finally able to not just communicate them but experience them together. Don't kid yourself, Irish49 is absolutely right.You're talking about subjecting your relationship to a lifestyle that can be very harsh and critical. It's not just the two of you and your possible issues you will contend with, but anyone else's who you bring into your union. There could be other jealousy from people that will test your relationship and love. The hard part is, no matter how much you fantasize or talk about it, you don't know how you are going to react until you are put in the situation. You will be testing the very foundation of not just your relationship but who you are. You must be ready for whatever comes. Make sure to set boundaries and, respect them, don't cross them. Always set new conditions for boundaries as potential obstacles arise or vice versa. The first time we acted out our fantasies, it was exciting, terrifying and a completely unexpected adventure. After, we both struggled with demons within ourselves and questions it brought up about eachother. We were able to work it out, and continue in the lifestyle, but we always made sure to take it back if there were ever any issues of discomfort. Well, like anything, a good thing can be addictive and be taken for granted. I started having issues with some aspects (mostly rude men treating me like nothing more than meat and a tool-which I wasn't used to), and hubby was having too much fun to notice and didn't seem to want to back off. I know hubby loves me more than anything and he has since regretted what took place, but it happens to the best of us. It hurt and nearly ruined our lives together. It's fun to share and explore, just make sure your head is in the right place and your expectations are realistic. Be smart and be safe!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): In most cases, it is not in a woman’s nature to desire that lifestyle. Some women go along with it to keep a man, or because of emotional problems, but sharing their beloved or themselves with others besides their partner, goes against their nature. I couldn't do it because I regard sex as a deeply personal,very private, loving act just between me and my partner. He feels the same way. However, there are cases, that a threesome is just a part of the adventuresome attitude some couples have about sex . But for any experimentations involving other people in your sex life, it will only succeed if the couple usually has a fairly strong commitment to each other. As everyone differs on sexual attitudes, there are some things to think about first.
Just to generalize about all this and this may not apply to you, I do have some opinions. Take it or leave it. Fulfilling certain fantasies by bringing other people into your private sex life is another way of making things interesting and fun-but unfortunately, threesomes can be risky. Sex between two people in love, is an deep, meaningful emotional adventure as well as a physically satisfying event. Just make darn sure you aren't doing this to 'save' your marriage. Involving other people in your very private sex life can be an emotionally charged experiment that could backfire, big time. Often one partner becomes a little more involved or enthusiastic and jealousy and insecurities will wreak havoc on your relationship. Depending on your level of self esteem and trust in your partner, threesomes could make one of you feel threatened...or maybe not, in your case. If you are not secure in your partner's attraction to you, seeing them attracted to and turned on by another person could be devastating. Similarly, the opportunity to see your partner having sex with someone else, may not be as much of a turn on if you are insecure and end up, comparing yourself unfavorably with the other woman. Is your self-value strong? Your self esteem would need to be able to cope with that.
Just some things to think about. Sounds like you have talked openly and honestly with your partner. Make sure to do the same with the other person you want in this threesome and lay all your cards on the table. Make sure you all practice safe sex. But most of all...make absolutely sure YOU want to do this. All I have to stress, is if you are having any doubts whatsoever...don't do it! It could mess up your relationship and you'll have some huge regrets.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): No cheating is what you would be doing if you're being unfaithful to your partner. If your partner knows and accept your activities, then that isn't cheating.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): Thanks for your answers but i dont think its cheating if i get turned on watching him with another woman, and the other woman will also be pleasuring me so does that mean we both cheat??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): I have had a 3sum wiv men i dont really no and trust and it was the first time for us all! I think that you would be mad to do it wiv a loved one because could you really see another woman having sex with your husband! its the same as cheating wiv permission
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, pink fraggle  +, writes (22 January 2007):
 i have had a three some before with a partner whom i thought i loved. I couldnt have done. My present partner wants to try a ffm but i would never let any other women near him. im a hypocrite but dont care.
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