A
female
age
36-40,
*ommy2married8yrs
writes:Last night I finally told my husband how i was feeling, he said he's been unhappy for a while but never told me this. We have no sex life, maybe once every two months? The last time we had sex was when I realized he's not just tired from working,the kids, etc. He just doesn't want to have sex with me. I felt like I forced him, and like he couldn't wait to get it over with. I wanted to cry. We have been together for 10 years, since I was 15. We were madly in love then. So many people ask me if hes gay b/c he keeps himself so nicely, its always been a turnoff for me though. I really would rather have a manly guy, but at 15 who the hell thinks of that.I've asked him if he was, but he just laughs, so who knows. I used to take better care of myself but w/ 2 kids, a job working over 50 hrs a week i just don't have the time. I don't know if this is why he doesn't want me but I'm not that bad i think, all his friends say things like you're so lucky to have her, shes hot, but i never get that from him.He has been mentally,verbally,and sometimes physically damaging to me, making me feel so below him for staying home with kids and when i would work it never lasted long b/c it was never worth it for the kids sake and our marriage. But now we are in such a predicament b/c i recently got a great paying job i love and will not quit and he just 6 months ago became a cop which he would never quit. Together we have been working towards for years. we r finally where we wanted to be and now he doesn't want me anymore? After we talked we decided to separate b/c we will have no time for counseling etc, but still live together to raise the kids. Either this or stay the same which i don't want. Not much different than now, but maybe without an occasional kiss. So than why this morning does he try to kiss me goodbye and say i love you. Does he really think i can be OK with this lonely,sexless, life together? what do i do,how do i make him realize this, i cant make him want me, so shouldn't he let me go?
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female
reader, shelly5 +, writes (30 September 2010):
 Sounds like he is taking you for granted. Withholding sex from your spouse is so demeaning & hurtful. I know there are a lot of women out there that do the same, I am not one. Very passive_ aggressive behavior on his part, also I hate to say this but if you hire a PI you might just answer your own question. Sorry to sound harsh only want you to see the truth in the actions. Reading your words I feel you want to leave, I would too. Better yet serve him divorce papers he only wants to be roommates bc he doesn't want to give you half of what he earns. Get strong right now and take action be for another year goes by!
A
female
reader, Lucysmiles  +, writes (28 September 2010):
This way of life is not good for your children, they may not notice now but as they grow they will realize that you and your husband's relationship is not quite right.
If this man is demeaning to you, than why would you want to be with him?
I think it's time for you two to have a serious chat about what's best for the future....
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