A
female
age
,
*iterin
writes:My husband just recently started to accuse me of masturbating in my sleep. This causing major problems in our marriage. He now is requesting I allow him to video tape while I am sleeping. I know I am not doing this because when he has yelled at me for doing this I was not asleep. I find it very difficult to sleep these days. Should I allow him to video tape me? My family, which he called and told them all this say I should NOT allow him to tape me. Help please. This is really a problem with me and he to the point we might divorce.
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female
reader, JudeAW  +, writes (26 June 2017):
I know this is an old post,but I wanted to ask..what's happening now? It's just I'm in the same situation,I could be writing what you have...and I can't go on living like this much longer..he's driving be insane
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Your husband sounds like a control freak. He probably keeps tabs on you everywhere you go and demands to be the center of attention at all times. I'll bet he doesn't let you have any close friends or spend much time with your family, and is prone to be very jealous. I'll bet he also controls all the finances and makes all the decisions. He always insists that you both do what he likes, hardly ever what you like, right? He acts as if his needs and feelings are the only ones that count, to the point where he doesn't even acknowledge that other people (including you) have, and are intitled to have, needs, thoughts or emotions. He's probably passive-agressive (like threatening to kill himself if you ever leave him, always makes himself out to be the victim, none of his mistakes or failures are ever his fault, that kind of thing). He obviously does not respect your privacy in the least. The "masturbation while sleeping" thing is just a symptom of a larger disease. He's a loser. Dump him, make sure you get a fair distribution of the assets, and don't ever look back. Put as much distance as you can between yourself and this freak before he destroys you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): Your husband is to strange for me. I have no idea what is going on and I have no idea why there is a problem. This is all very, very strange.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): Your husband is to strange for me. I have no idea what is going on and I have no idea why there is a problem. This is all very, very strange.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (16 July 2008):
 This is not normal behaviour. I am very curious. Has this strange behaviour come out of the blue? Has your marriage been quite normal all these years, or have there been previous episodes or early signs?
I will leave it to someone else who has a better idea of these things to give you better advice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): So what if you are masturbating in your sleep? Or while you're awake? It's not like he doesn't jerk off. So why shouldn't you? Frankly, he sounds like an absolute psycho. Sounds like the abusive type. Perhaps a divorce from him would be the best thing for you.
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A
female
reader, miterin +, writes (15 July 2008):
miterin is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell here is the update. He got me so upset and beleiving I was masturbating in my sleep that I allowed him to video tape me. It is now 4:22 am and what did I see on the tape? Me sleeping peacfully and he is shaking the bed from the corner. He did it not once not twice but three times during a 2 hour video.I am shocked,appalled,hurt,confused. What did he think he was doing? Did he think he would not get caught?OMG what now?
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 I don't get it. You were awake when he claimed you were masturbating?
As for sleeping with your hands above your head, that is odd, but doesn't mean a thing. I have seen a woman sleep walk on several occasions, she knew it happened because I wasn't the first to see it but for the life of her she couldn't remember doing it. You don't know what you do in your sleep.
But if you were awake with your hands above the blankets when he accused you... that is just weird.
Situation A: You didn't masturbate or anything even close in your sleep and he is accusing you falsly. Why? I don't know. Perhaps as an excuse to video-tape you?
Situation B: You did masturbate in your sleep, you claim you didn't and this is just an argument over snoring "no I didn't, yes you did, etc etc". Grow up the both of you.
Has he experessed a desire to film you before?
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A
female
reader, miterin +, writes (15 July 2008):
miterin is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo I do not come from a stricted religous background but as the other poster stated "do not make a video". He has called my family and god only knows what he would do with a video. He screamed at me the "first" time he said I did this and the arguement started. Went through discussion after discussion then he said it was him seeing things,would not happen again. Well it did and then again etc. I left for two days could not handle the screaming of the accusation in front of my stepsons. He wanted me home so he called my family. When they confronted him why I left (I said just a bad arguement)he told them everything. You will think I am crazy or lying but this all came out of no where.I just feel so strange that we accuse when it isn't happening. He has yelled "what are you doing" and. I have been awake and hands above head.
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (15 July 2008):
He called your family to tell them that you masturbated in your sleep? This would worry me more than his desire to videotape you.
He seems to be making such a big deal of it, why would he want to videotape it? Normally a guy who found his wife masturbating in her sleep would be delighted. The fact that it's become a major issue suggests there is something wrong with your husband, or your relationship, or both.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy +, writes (15 July 2008):
What is the background to all this?
Masturbating in your sleep is a new one to me, I suppose it is possible but where is the problem? As long as you don't moan someone elses name it is just dreaming.
Do you come from some kind of strict religious background?
Could this be similar to snoring? It happens and often the person snoring claims that it ain't true while the person next to them has their night rest and even hearing ruined (apparently it can be loud enough to cause permanent hearing damage).
That apparently might cause serious troubles. Especially if it is denied, recording the snoring can help by making the offender realise just what is happening.
But why did he call your family about this?
Why does he have such a problem with it anway?
If this is simply an argument about wether this happens or not, yes, one way might to settle this might be to video-tape it. Just make sure the tape doesn't leave your sight and is destroyed afterwards. If this issue is simply who is right, that might be the way to solve it.
But why is it even an issue and why were others involved.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (15 July 2008):
 Rule #1: NEVER let yourself be photographed (video or otherwise) in a way that you would not be willing to see up on the internet with your name on it. Just ASSUME it's going to happen, one way or another, if those pictures are taken. I can't tell you how it will, but there's a saying among certain tech people: "information wants to be free."
So NO, do not allow the video to be made. It will only lead to big trouble.
(By the way, Rule #2 is to watch what you say on line, because it may come back to haunt you.)
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