A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi We have been happily married for last 6 years...have a 1 year old baby boy now, it was a love marriage..but I don't know what happened all of a sudden...my husband confessed to me 2 days back that he had sex with a prostitute during an official trip recently. He said it was not planned or intentional but just happened...while he was entering his hotel, he saw this hooker standing next to the hotel and he asked her to come along..the incident lasted for about 30 min and he said he wore 2 condoms to protect himself...he wore one condom on his finger as well while playing with her vagina and putting finger in to it. According to him, he penetrated for a few seconds and ejaculated soon after...he says..he didn't feel guilty instantly but of late has been fearing HIV infection and guilty of his act...hence decided to tell me about the incidence inspite of knowing that the consequenses can be devastating...frankly when he started telling me about it...I didn't believe him at the first place..after all we are a happy couple and he's been so honest to me till date...but I had to believe it and now i cannot understand what to do...i haven't been very harsh to me..but cannot get rid of visualising him with her..i tried to rationalise thinking this could have been triggered by his sheer thrill of trying a different partner or perhaps was an impulsive decision...he says he is repenting it now and will never do such a shameful act again but I am finding it hard to believe this...if he cheated on me once he can even do this again..is it true but then why did he tell me, he could have secretly avoided it...he says he loves me and couldn't hide it. Although he discussed this with a colleague of his before confessing who actually advised him not to say anything to me. I have sort of forgiven him and in fact we made love also last night which was one of the most intense and memorable sessions of recent times, I mean after we had our child, the lovemaking sessions had just became like regular chores but yesterday's was great...the problem is I am so confused - I feel chaeted but at the same time trying to understnad and rationalise his act. I love him a lot and cannot think of leaving him so that's out of question...but point is how should I handle this...if I remain soft and considerate - will it not give him encouragement to do such acts again..how should I teach him a lesson...he's also been very worried about him being infected just because he feels there are some symptoms which he read on net. We actually went to the hospital also to get a blood test done which came HIV negative but again it doesn't put him to ease as some studies say within 20 days it's difficult to show any sign through a blood test.....SO PLEASE HELP AND ANSWER...
View related questions:
cheated on me, condom, ejaculate, escort, hiv , prostitute, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): He should not just worry about Aids, he should be tested. He is also putting your life at risk.
It is good to forgive but if you cannot stop thinking about it go for a few counseling sessions to help you to deal with your thoughts and mixed emotions.
A
female
reader, Cheater32  +, writes (3 November 2008):
 I just want to say that I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is hard and you have a small daughter which I am sure makes this so much harder. I have to be honest and tell you though that he DID TELL YOU. He did not have to he could have kept it a secret forever. That shows some sort of guilt on his part. I would really give him another shot. Only after doing the following. Sit him down without the baby around or anyone for that matter. Be firm and strong look him straight in the eye and tell him and mean it.... if this happens again Im out with the baby. If you love me and our family you will do this and respect what I am saying to you. The next thing for you will be forgiving him that will be hard. I am reading your story and I am going through a similiar situation only I am on the other end. I am tossing wether to tell my husband about my actions with another man, I have ended the affair i was having because i realized how awful it was to continue. I do love my family though and that is why I have decided to to right by my family. I am sure he loves you too. After all he confessed to you. That says alot.
I hope this helps email me privately if you want to talk.
Take care!
...............................
|
