A
female
age
41-50,
*oeys
writes:hi, me and my husband are married for 3.5 years we have been trying for a baby and we found out he has a low sperm count, the doctors say there is always that maricle baby 1% percent chance of having a baby, both me and him really want a baby, we have gone through a bad patch and were seperated for 2 weeks i have cheated on him in those 2 weeks and now im pregnant, me and my husband made love in the week before those two weeks that we were apart and after we got back to gether. it will kill him if i tell him and i dont know what to do, he really wants a child and i and i dont know should i let him think its his child, im white and my husband and the person that i cheated with is white, if theres any one out there that could give me advice, i dont want a abostion but if there is no other way then i will do it
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sperm, trying for a baby, want a baby Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bianca.H  +, writes (6 March 2011):
Can i ask what you did? As im in the same situation as you were.
A
female
reader, tabby  +, writes (18 March 2009):
i say keep your mouth shut unless you absolutely have to tell and as for an abortion you would be a fool to kill the baby you so badly wanted and who knows this could actually be your husbands baby. you could get a paternity test with the other man but i would definitely keep my mouth shut, what he doesn't know can't hurt him
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A
female
reader, tryingtoconcieve +, writes (29 October 2008):
I think that honesty is the best thing in a relationship. I think you should tell him. You have to have trust and honesty in a relationship or it won't work. As for the abortion, there are so many people out there that are trying so hard to have a child. I don't believe in abortion. There is someone out there that would be an exellent mom and dad for this child that you don't want. Give this child a chance at life. I have been trying to conceive for a year now and would love a chance to have a child and I know there are so many more people out there that would love a chance to have a child. Just some advice. It is really up to you. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): I am in the same position, exept my girl friend is maried, I dont know if she has told the truth, all I know is that I have has an afair so it is my own fault, I want to do the right thing here and take responsability and I think that you should do aswell, if not your poor husband may go off the tracks and kill him self when the truth comes out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): If you are even asking this question, then I pity your husband.
But I doubt any of these answers will do a thing. I suspect you've already made up your mind, and you'll justify lying to him on the idea that "he really wants this baby so much."
But that's bull. You're not really lying to him because of that. You're really lying to him because you don't want to fess up to cheating and deal with the consequences of being pregany by another man now. Telling yourself that you're lying for his benefit is just a way to get yourself off the hook in your own mind. But it's just as wrong whether you admit it or not.
And it's also legally a crime too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): I don't how to say this, because none of it is good. There is a major problem in your marriage that would cheat in a 2 week period You have no choice but to tell him. Morally, and legally it will haunt you otherwise. Personally, I think you two should split up, your marriage obviously sucked before this, and now you cheated and are having another man's baby. Tell him, move on. Then tell the other guy and make sure there is at least support for the child if nothing else.I'd say good luck, but I wouldn't really mean it, so I won't!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): what you did was awfull and natural if you tell him lies you will lose him stick to the truth and hope he is forgiving and take it from there
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): I really think you should tell him. I woulnt want to find out that my child isnt even mine. That way you and him and decide together and find out the solution. Tell him the truth!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): i think you should tell him trust me its one thing to lie but to lie about a baby being his is gong too far for health reason for his happness and yours so yes i think you should tell him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): DO NOT LIE the sooner you tell him the more time you guys wil have to work things out keep the baby if he leaves you because you cheated is there anypoint loosing 2 people? i would first talk to a doctor to try and get as close as you ccan to the dates and see if there is a possibility it is his. if its to hard which it ually is tell your hubby the truth get dna tests done after your bub is born if thats what you decide, then take it from there. GOOD LUCK.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): There is more to consider than just the two of you I'm afraid. This child has the right to know their father if you do and it may become obvious that this child is not your husbands. In addition you should consider that illnesses (hereditary) and other conditions can be passed through families and sometimes it can be vital to track down the biological father (this happened to a friend of mine who was adopted and had, until that point not wished to know their biological father). My advice is it will always hang over you like a cloud - can you live with the lie? I don't think you have a choice but to be honest.
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A
female
reader, little miss helpful  +, writes (21 September 2007):
 you cannot lie to your husband if you do and he finds out he will resent you and the child he thought was his. you really need to rethink your marriage as only 2 weeks and you slept with someone else! no offense but i wouldn't really say that was true love would you???the fact is you have brought this on yourself and you need to sort it out not by lieing but by telling the truth. i cant believe your even considering telling him the baby is his that really is wrong.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (21 September 2007):
 truth always gets out.i think you need to be honest with your husband because there are a few reasons. he's going to be mortified about your infedelity but you're pregnant. he knows you're not going to get pregnant by him so may come round to the idea that you are having a baby, een though it's by someone else. however, it is more likely that he will not be able to forgive you because it was only 2 weeks, how can you jump into bed with someone else so quickly? i think you need to have a serious think about your relationship because if you loved him, unconditionally, you would never have cheated on him, and although you were on a break, you still cheated because you're married. you are pregnant so you need to put the needs of the baby first, you got yourself into this mess, aborting the baby and lying to your husband is a terrible idea to even consider giving your husband false hope that he is the dad when you know he's not. the doctors will know he's not and deep down he'll know he's not. the dates won't match up for a start. be honest and take the consequences for your actions.good luck.
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