A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If feel like my fiance has cheated me in many ways and I will like to destroy him by getting him fired from his job and make him miserable. please help I am hurting.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): There's an old saying that goes, "An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness."
"Getting even" with your ex by getting him fired from his job and ruining his life isn't the same as what he did to you. Yes, you are heartbroken that he would cheat on you, but getting him fired from a job and making his life miserable is not equivalent.
Instead, be the classier, more mature adult. Shake it off as best you can and move on.
There's an old saying that goes, "Living well is the best revenge."
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 June 2011):
This isn't a good idea. This sounds like an idea that could make him look great, whilst leaving you looking like Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction. This is the sort of idea that will get you arrested or something.
If your fiance has made you miserable, then give him back the ring and leave him. Never go back, never contact him. Just don't go looking for revenge, because of the following reasons (all of these are true, and have happened):
1 - He can have a court order placed on you.
2 - He can have you arrested.
3 - He can could contact your doctor, show evidence of your mental state and suggest that you are checked out for psychiatric disorders.
4 - He can sue you for damages should you make up a lie that gets him fired.
5 - He can sue for slander should you say something about him that's not true.
It is worthless to seek revenge. Sure, it might work out - maybe it will ruin his life and you'll be happy about it. But, in truth, mostly revenge goes wrong. He'll end up laughing one way or another and you'll still be miserable.
Leave him, and move on with your life. Don't look for something that'll backfire.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 June 2011):
 There's a much better revenge than the short-term acting out that gives the illusion of making you feel better. Burning his clothes, getting him fired, ruining his reputation will, in the end, make you hurt far more and only serve to prolong your suffering and ultimately derail your life.
The much better (and infinitely sweeter) revenge is to drop him and get to work expunging him from every ounce of your psyche. This means removing his power over you, removing your feelings for him, until you firmly believe that the mention of his name only gives you a sense of indifference, contempt, and pity for the weak, pathetic fraction of a man that he made himself to be.
Then, move forward and make your life shine brighter and stronger than before. Let the blow to you turn you into someone stronger and better. Yes, you will and are hurting and grieving. But instead of holding onto it, you let it pass through you and allow yourself to heal. Your friends and loved ones will help you greatly to accept that. Take the time and do things that will nourish your spirit and improve your outlook.
Do these things, and soon, you'll be so far beyond this man that revenge is laughable and he will have lost the power to raise your blood pressure one iota, while he takes his miserable flaws and self-destructs. Don't listen to any news that he's doing great, because nobody can do great while self-sabotaging his relationships and life.
While he's off pretending to be fine and happy, you actually will be. If he comes crawling back, tell him to pound sand, because you don't date cheaters.
Hope this helps a little. I know you're still in pain, but let yourself be in pain, and let yourself hope for a better future! Who knows, maybe in your healing and betterment, someone else comes along that makes your current fiance appear like a flea compared to him. Or not! Either way, you are free from the loser fiance. To take revenge on his job would be enslaving yourself again and will destroy your healing and keep you in a constant state of anguish. He is definitely not worth it.
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (5 June 2011):
 Okay, first thing we need to do is to settle your mind a little bit. You said you feel like your fiance has cheated you in many ways....is this a feeling or do you have concrete proof of this? Because it is not really a nice thing to destroy someone's life on a hunch or a feeling without proof.
Second thing is ....getting someone fired from their job is not exactly a great thing to do. In this climate of the world, where employment is hard to get....it is going to be very difficult for him to get a job again.
Look, I know you are hurting...and hurting can cause us to do many things.....especially when your emotions are high and you are angry etc. You being nasty to him isn't going to make you feel better ....you will get a quick satisfaction...and then the hurt is still there and the anger is still there.
If you know for sure your fiance is cheating, then just break up with him/her and walk away....you really don't need to ruin anyone's life. Life has a way to balancing itself out and karma has a way to settle scores without you or anyone getting involved.
Hold on to you self respect, pull yourself together and just walk away if you are not happy.
I hope things work out for you.
Good Luck
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