A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm 43 and have an issue that maybe not a lot of women talk about but it is affecting my self confidence a lot! Basically, due to perimenopause and dropping hormones (not childbirth) I have been diagnosed with a mild bladder prolapse and possibly bowel. I am not incontinent in any way but do think that I feel different (a bit crowded) inside my vagina and the outer edges look different too. Sometimes I also have vaginal dryness which can feel sore and this is making me feel really old and unattractive. My GP has just given me oestrogen cream to insert and I am working on pelvic floor exercises at the moment but the results are slow and could take weeks if not months to really make a difference. I could cope with all this if I hadn't just met a really gorgeous man who I absolutely want to have sex with! I am not overweight (very slim if anything) but this situation is making me want to avoid getting intimate with him in any way. The passion is there in my mind, but I feel so self conscious. The fact he has worked in a medical environment for 10 years means he knows what is what which should be a plus but I see that he will know what my issue is when he sees / feels it and will be put off! Plus I am not sure if the sex is going to be uncomfortable physically. Because we live a little distance apart I have been able to space out our dates and avoid things but I know that sex will and quite rightly should happen at some point in the next couple of months or so. Has anyone else been in this situation - or any men had a partner with this issue and could advise on how to handle it? Some days I feel like finishing the relationship because I don't want to deal with the problem!
View related questions:
confidence, overweight, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (8 July 2015):
 What did your GP say about sex? First and foremost, make sure you follow those recommendations, whatever they are. If you are not cleared for full vaginal sex until the prolapse improves, respect that advice. If you were not given specific advice about whether or not sex is currently safe for you, follow up with your GP before any sexual activity.
Now on to your partner. No two vaginas are exactly the same in size/depth/tightness etc, so unless your date is a practicing doctor or gynecologist I doubt he will know either visually or upon insertion that you are experiencing this issue.
Articles like this one
http://www.rosenmanmd.com/sexuality.htm
suggest that there may be some sex-based discomfort for *you*, though, so if you trust him I would suggest discussing any concerns with him before you become intimate. (If you don't trust him to be kind and supportive of your feelings, reconsider being intimate with him until you feel that you can.) That way he knows to be gentle with you and there are no surprises for either one of you during sexual activity.
One more thing - as a grown woman you are no doubt aware that penetrative vaginal sex is far from the only way to give or receive intimate pleasure, so don't let nerves stop you from enjoying your partner and relationship when you are ready to do so :)
Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes!
|
