A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have been with my boyfriend for 2years and want to break up. If he breaks up with me that's all fine and dandy his family knows everything about us. But if I break up with him... I dont know what he would do my parents don't like him and they don't know about us... I'm scared he will tell them and if he does I get kicked out... I want to break up with him because I just don't love him like that anymore. I will always love him as a friend but nothing more... I dot want to lea him I anymore. I've been trying to do stupid things so that he breaks up with me an nothing will happen but he just shrugs it off like nothing happened. I really did try to break up with him but he started to make me feel guilty... And that's when he brought my parents into it... I don't love him as a boyfriend anymore and don't want to lead him on but I don't want to get kicked out with nowhere to go...Please help.... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (28 April 2013):
Are your parents really going to throw you out on the streets of this guy who they don't like says you were dating? That doesn't make any sense to me.
Why don't you just stop talking to him? Or tell your parents that he likes you and you don't like him (true) and if you don't date him you're afraid he's going to try and get you in trouble with them (true as well).
I had a girlfriend threaten to tell any future girlfriend that I may have that she was pregnant. After we broke up I ran into her and when she found out I had a girlfriend I thought that to be safe I should tell the new girl that the old one might come by and say she's pregnant. Lo and behold the next day she did. Fortunately the new girl just thought the old one was crazy. It's called "damage control".
By coming clean I was able to frame the discussion my way.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 April 2013):
 How are you so sure that your parents won't take you in? Are they the kind that will disown you if you don't marry a guy they pick?
If you can't rely on your parents as a safety net, or won't tell them you picked the wrong guy, then your only choice would be to save up enough to move out when you can find a roommate. Don't play that game of tolerance of how long you could stand each other.
How is your boyfriend going to tell your parents? Showing up at the door? Call them? He can't use that as a threat as a break up if you can be independent from him. Did he forbid you from working too? What will happen if you just tell your parents about him? Looks like your parents knowing this is inevitable. You don't get to keep the secret and at the same time loosen from his grip too. When you tell them before he does, you get to keep some of your dignity and your parents are more likely to help you. There has to be resources in your city. To this day no one should be homeless if you are willing and able to improve your life.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 April 2013):
 WHAT???!!!??? Please explain why there is some connection between your breaking up with this guy... and you're having a place to live..... Even a guy as sage and as old as I am can't find a connection between these two ideas/concepts....
Thanks, in advance, for more info...
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