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female
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*vanna22
writes: am I wrong here??? Isn't this common sense??? I've been seing this guy for about three weeks and tonight we were at this dance with his friends. When the dance was over he said he wanted to go to hooters and his friends agreed to go with him. I was just standing there like a loser while he was having a lot of fun talking to other people. Then I told him that I didn't wanna go to hooters because it's not the kind of place where I would like to go with him, so I asked him to take me home. On the way to my house I asked him: So you're really taking me home??? And he said isn't this what you wanted??? And I said: No, I just don't wanna go to hooters, and he said: Oka then i'll take you home. He said that he was just hungry and wanted to have a good time with his friends, that it wasn't to go see these girls and that he thought these girls were nasty anyways. I'm still upset because it seems that he'd rather go to hooters with his friends and drop me off than to just go eat somewhere else and spend time with me. Am I wrong for being upset??? Should I stop talking to this guy??? I hate having my heart broken so often. I've waited so long to see him and now this happened. Please give me some advice. I think I should stop seing him shouldn't I??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ivanna22 +, writes (5 November 2006):
Ivanna22 is verified as being by the original poster of the question What makes me angry is that he choose to go there and drop me off than just go somewhere else and spend time with me. I don't know what to do. I feel like he doesn't like me or respect me as much as I respect him.
A
female
reader, Ivanna22 +, writes (5 November 2006):
Ivanna22 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much you guys. I was thinking that it was wrong for me to be upset over this at first. I'll try to talk to him about it. I'm just upset because I don't think he'll understand me because in his mind he's not doing anything wrong. I was thinking of just letting him go but then I thought that he might not relize what he's doing wrong because he's a virgin and very unexperienced. He's had very few girls before me. I don't know if that's why he doesn't know how to treat a girl. So I was thinking about giving him another chance. What do you guys think??? It's also sooo hard hard to let him go because this body chemistry it's extremely stronge!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): Ok dont lynch me aunts , But I think that you should sit him down and tell him that you dont like going to thoses places with him, now I know that you would rather he didnt go to them at all but it is early in the relatinoship and if you told him to stop going altogether he would probably walk!.I think you need to show some tact here, I would tell him that if you have made plans to see each other then you should not be going places like that, explain to him that you want to see him not a bunch of girls with their tits bouncing about!, and to be honest it is a bit of a cheek to take your girlfriend there!.As long as he knows that you dont want to stop him going altogether he might buck his ideas up and go places like that less frequently.ok good luck and try not to come accross to heavy it is only early in your relationship.XX
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): I agree with the other two aunts on this page. He does sound immature amd it's only been 3 weeks..you haven't invested a lot of time in this guy. Dating is a selection process where a woman has to discern who is her right match. It’s quite clear that your bf's choices are making you feel disrespected and unsafe. And the sad thing, is he shown you...he's not willing to make other choices. So what does that tell you about him? It likely means that he's not a good match for who you are and what you want in a relationship. A future with this guy could be challenging and perhaps, a tough road to go. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. Some women wouldn't never feel safe or respected in a serious relationship with a guy who doesn't consider his gf's feelings. Why don't you take what you know about him now, and think long and hard about your compatibility. It's time to talk to him about this and let him know, how his actions made you feel. You talk about being heartbroken. Why? This has only been going on, for 3 weeks. Stop giving your heart up to men so early in a relationship. That's not smart, because dating as a form of shopping around. Dating a person does not necessarily become immediate 'exclusivity'. In the first few weeks, it means careful discrimination and making good, sound rationalizations about this person. You need to stay real and remain sensible. You have to make a decision about how much further you want this to go. Make the best choice for you. Good luck, dear and take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): Oh, come on, you could have just laughed in his face and asked him if he was a big titty baby.....I don't think I would have picked this one as a battle to fight over, after only 3 weeks of dating, you are just in the early stages of a new relationship, and obviously he is not ready to give up his single ways....guys are selfish and they have to be prodded to give up some of that selfishness and learn to be better boyfriends.
I would tell him what you want from him or expect, and tell him if he will treat you with dignity and respect and treat you like a princess, that you promise to treat him like a king....I find that the more freedom you give your guy when it is new like this, the more he will start worrying about screwing things up with you because you are so cool about it and definately go off with your girlfreiends or whatever, it works both ways you know! He will start worrying what you are up to, and want to be there for you so he does not screw things up....if he fails to do this, he is not great boyfriend material and then you will have to just tell him to hit the pavement back to hooters....hang in there, girlie!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): He's too immature for a relationship. Let him go (to Hooters or wherever he pleases). Believe me, you'll be better off.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): I am unsure how to start my response to this question. I am definately amazed at how guys think that doing something like that is alright. If your hungry and your girl is sitting next to you, you dont go to Hooters!!!!!! If hes hungry and just wants some of those buffalo wings, he can go to KFC and have that same experience w/out the big boobs being flashed in his face. Youre definately not wrong! You now have full permission to lay his ass out on the line. And if that incident is only a preview for what is to come then you need to decide if thats the way you want to be treated. Obvisouly you care about this guy but how much does he care about you? You've only been dating for him for 3 weeks he should be grateful he has time to spend w/you and not dismiss it over hooters.
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