A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my fella keeps running away from our relationship.then coming bac he swears there is no one else.any advice anyone Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): Without knowing more about your relationship, I can give you one universal truth....it is a sign of an unhealthy relationship if it is always on again off again.....meaning he does a disappearing act on you, and is gone for a period of days....or weeks.....this man is not healthy and you'd be best to forget him and for good.
Take care of you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): It's dangerous, I think, to ask for relationship advice based on a few one-sided lines. I agree with Shiraz that not knowing where you stand is a distraction that keeps you from evaluating the core of your relationship. But I wouldn't call your relationship "nothing" because you haven't provided any details. You haven't said how long you've been dating, if you're in the geographic area, how you behave towards him (maybe you're needy, maybe you're mean -no offense), if you guys fight a lot, if he's experienced some trauma recently, e.g., unemployment really hurts a man's ego and there's a lot of that going around.
That said, it sounds like at the end of the day you definitely have too much drama. I say, forget about the future. Decide what this relationship is worth to you day-to-day; tell him what you need from it and then if you continue to be disappointed, leave. You can even set a date in your mind if you want to.
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A
female
reader, shiraz +, writes (24 January 2009):
i think deep down you know the answer. a relationship is nothng where you have the constant distraction of askin where it is you stand and where your future lies with a person. its unhealthy for you to remain in the cycle where your unsure whats going to happen the next time he leaves and whats worse is there is always the next time. no guy is seeing a future is he 'runs away' and then comes back trying to use excuses like theres nobody else. whats his reasons then?
ask yourself is it fair to be treated like this over and over? will this still be going on in years to come? everyone needs stability and reassurance, this guy doesnt seem to offer you either. maybe its time to let go and finally go into a relationship that equals you out as a person. trust and reliablity. youve forgtten what that feeling is like and its about time you found it with somebody worth it. let this one go and find whats right for you, best of luck xxx
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