A
female
age
26-29,
*zzygurl
writes:My boyfriend just left my house, and before he left, he was crying because he said he didn't want to leave me, he wanted to stay longer but my guardian didn't want that. He made me cry too, both of us was crying and it hurts so much to him cry, I wiped his tears and he wiped mines, he told me never to cry again because it hurts to see me cry. I love my boyfriend so much and I know he do too. Is this true love? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 October 2012):
 Well, anon male reader maybe is a tad too suspicious ( albeit , I agree that your guardian is also probably , and legitimately, very concerned that you handle you sexuality in the right way and without bad consequences )- it does not have to be all about sex, but, IMO, definitely it has got to do with your age, and its typical low level of frustration tolerance, and difficulty to handle wisely negative emotions. In other words, yeah, puppy love.
Now don't get me wrong, if you guys want to let it all out and have a nice , long ,romantic cry , go ahead , it's not against the law and at your age it is understandable. .
But, it is not an indicator of true ( mature ) love.
You know why ? easy : because true love is not so much about big gestures , big words and big drama, as it is about having your partner's wellbeing and best interest at heart . It's always THINKING ( not just emoting ) what may be best for them.
Tell me, what's the point of lathering up each other into a sobbing frenzy ? What's the point in making each other MORE upset ? Did you feel good when you saw your bf wailing ? No, worse- because now you had your own grief, and the grief of seeing him so despondent. You have not been able to comfort each other , to calm each other down - you have made it easier for each other to get overwhelmed by negative emotions.
A smarter , and more LOVING thing, would have been if your bf, at your first sign of sniveling, would have hugged you and reassured you : " Don't cry, love, I love you so much , that's all it matters, some hours or days more or less make no difference when I always have you in my heart, I know it sucks I'll only see you next month, but stay strong, think of me and I'll think of you, and we'll talk any time we can , and this month will just fly , we can make it through together etc. etc.etc. " Something along these lines.
( And vicevera of course ,if he had started bawling first ).
I am not saying that your bf does not love you, how could I know that without knowing you and him ?
What I mean is just : no ,tears per se do not mean at all he truly loves you- they probably mean that he is still basically a kid and , when he can't get what he wants, is frustrated and cries.
Then again, true love or puppy love, what does it matter to you ? Do you NEED to know that is true, forever love ? ...Life is strange and often takes us up and down so many unplanned twists and turns. Enjoy it now, enjoy while it lasts without to many questions . " True " or less true , as long as it makes you happy..
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2012): "Was my Bf's reaction indicative of true love for me?"
No, it's indicative that a horny teenage guy wants to get a vulnerable teenage girl into bed and so he will say or do anything that he thinks will help get him laid, no matter how lowdown and shameless and dishonest, up to and including saying he wants to have a child with you so you can be a family together.
That you are in the custody of a "guardian" leads me to suspect that you have had a difficult childhood and what you must have already experienced in your young life is beyond my imagination and comprehension, and I'm old enough to be your grandfather.
If I was your guardian, I'd be very worried about the possibility that you might fall into the trap of believing
that the only solution to improving your current circumstances is having a baby so you and boyfriend and kid can be a family together.
The absolute last thing on Earth your guardian wants for you is for your boyfriend to knock you up with a kid for whom you are completely incapable of providing the basic necessities of life (food, clothing, shelter) on an ongoing daily basis, and given that you are already "in the system," the likelihood that you would even be allowed to take a baby home from the hospital is nil.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2012): Clearly, you want people to agree with you and say "Yes! That is true love!"Truth is...it is not. Young Love pure and simple. Where everything is so intense and passionate, when you're happy you feel as though you're on top of the world, when you're annoyed and you want to be also be screaming "I love you!" at the top of your lungs; and when people try to keep you apart, you romanticize it in the typical "You/me against the world"!All this will burn out sooner than you'll expect....But since i am sure you're vindicative type, you'll probably try and prove us all wrong by stubbornly clinging on to your relationship, thinking "That'll show them!"
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A
female
reader, izzygurl +, writes (7 October 2012):
izzygurl is verified as being by the original poster of the question @ anonymous, I know he loves me, because I was about to cry before he started, and we see each other like once a month because my guardian don't let me see him that much. So that's a good reason to cry, and I've never watched the notebook.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2012): No. Thats puppy love not true love. If he loved you he would say its okay ill come over tomorrow or we will meet up tomorrow as soon as we can. If he didnt want to see you cry and make a show of it he wouldnt have. I say someones been watching the notebook one too many times. Sorry thats not true love.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 October 2012):
 At the moment am sure you both believe that it is true love yes, but things can change just to prepare you for that, you may both grow as people and see life much differently than you do now, but for the moment just enjoy the relationship.
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