A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just broke up with my girlfriend after about 8 months, but we had been good friends for the longest time. This hasnt been the first time its happend, its actually been the third. The first two times we got back together within a week of the break ups. This last time though it doesnt seem like it will be near as easy. The night before we broke up I went to see a girl that is a friend of mine who just came back from france after 10 months. This would have been the third time I saw her. We went for a walk and then went to her friend's house. I never told my girlfriend I went to see her, instead I told her I was home. I had no reason to lie to her but I did. When I got home that night I was going to tell her because I felt bad for not telling the truth. Unfortunately i forgot to tell her that night. I was reminded the next morning and I was planning to tell her as soon as i got to talk to her. Again i forgot to tell her. Later that evening i was reminded again and was going to tell her, but right before i could another guy did. She got mad at me and decided we should break up and just be friends. I guess her reasoning is I lied to her and lost her trust. At first she sounded like we could never get back together but about 2 or 3 days later she told me that she still wanted to be friends, but we could get back together someday maybe. I still love her more then anything and since this has happend she has told me she still loves me. I really want to get her back, because i know i can be a better guy, and i have learned from my mistakes. I just dont know how to right now. Help me :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): Give her a lot of time.Don't mention anything about a relationship when you talk to her.She'll know you want to get together and will say no.And I suggest that you show toher that you are a good friend and you can be trusted.Don'tever lie to her.Maybe,eventually,she will get back with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe first time was because she lied about another guy to me and apologized and i trusted her again but she wanted a break because of it. the second time was my fault but not near similar to this. i have never cheated cause i could never deal with it id hate myself. my mom died when i was younger so ive never been able to handle emotions like other guys. i would beat myself up to much if i cheated. wether or not you wanna believe me that im telling the truth i am. the fact of the matter is i lied to her and as shes told me before its because i lied and shes lost trust in me. again i cant stress it enough how serious i am when i say i would never cheat plus she isnt an ex. she knew we were best friends in the past. im so faithful to her still. ive refused to see anyother girls period.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh and i have asked her for another chance, but at the current time she feels like shes given me enough chances
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe still needs time shes told me, and i know that is what she thinks but i mean... i truly didnt think it was a huge thing until this all happend. I have talked to her about it and all but shes made up her mind on what she wants to do. I just need help with what i should do to get her back, because im definatly not ready to give up on us.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): You love her so much yet you lie to her knowing its going to upset her and hurt her feelings? Of course it ruined her trust in you and of course she's going to be upset that you lied to her. A relationship is always doomed to fail if there isn't trust there and to earn and maintain trust it takes telling the truth. I think you need to give her time and space. If she wants to get back together with you..she'll eventually come around. If not then you have to deal with it.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (16 July 2008):
Just ask her to get back with you.
You say you "guess her reasoning" for breaking up with you. If you don't know then you either haven't listened of haven't asked.
Either way you clearly didn't explain and talk to her about it.
Go and talk to her and ask her for another chance.
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe still talk all the time if it makes any difference
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female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (15 July 2008):
 This is a classic "Do today what you can do tomorrow" scenario.
Now I think your girlfriend overreacted about your lying, but I also think you haven't told enough. A person who's in a relationship will not snap like that and end everything that suddenly. My guess here is that she had feelings bottled up about what you have done in the relationship and your lying was the last straw.
Now you're lucky here at least. She wants to talk to you and become friends and it seems that she wants a relationship, just that she wants to get to know you further before deciding. If you love her, give her time and treat her lovingly, and alwasy show her that you love her because if you don't she will lose hope and move on. Respect her wishes and wait for her
I hope you really had learned from your mistakes like you say and tell her that. Good luck to you buddy and if you're truthful, I hope she sees that.
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female
reader, jessica_04 +, writes (15 July 2008):
well you should keep it cool with her as friends but if you really want to get her back you need to do everything you can to get her trust back! let her now how bad you feel about not telling her the truth in time!
GOOD LUCK!!!=]
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