| A
female
,
*plac*
writes: Hi everyone. I have an issue and i think i could use some feedback, and i'd also like some advice from men. I'm 17 and working at a radio station this summer, where i met a man with whom i work together with and i'm very attracted to. We spend a lot of time together and we laugh, talk and in general like each other. The thing is, he is really older than me, he is 36 years old. There is such an attraction that is undeniable. Can you please help me out, i don't know what to do.. Would a man his age notice a girl my age? He seems into me, interested and keen on spending time together, but i could use some advice.. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, *plac* +, writes (16 July 2008):
*plac* is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you all for your replies, they are very helpful..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): Yes it could happen but you must be aware and prepared to deal with your family and friends and other people who might do the impossible to discourage you. that is if you love him because he could love and love you real. Older men are more centred in their minds and don't need young friends especially girls so his interest and love for you could be more authentic. Remember everything in life involves risk.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): Oh yes, believe me, a man notices a pretty and sexy young girl, so if it seems he's into you, he's definitely noticed. Girls your age can be really, really sexy, and believe me, men notice. I have seen a lot of high school girls who are very very sexy. The problem might be your age, though. In some states, 17 is the age of consent, in other states, it's 18. So if your under the age of consent, and you have sex with him, he could be prosecuted for rape and could go to prison. I guess the question is would you want a relationship with a man who is that much older, because it could be a bigger issue when he gets older. For example, when you are 30, and he is about to turn 50, and his body doesn't work like it used to, or he doesn't have as much energy as he does now. That assumes that your relationship with him would become permanent, which is a big "if." But in the short term, things could probably work out. But you might want to wait until you're 18, so that the sex issue won't be a problem. If your parents found out that you had sex with him and you're under the age of consent, they could press charges against him, and the way the law is, there's not much he could do to keep from going to prison. Judges and juries are really hard on cases like these, because they consider the men to be sexual predators. I hope you enjoy your job at the radio station. I got my degree in journalism and always wanted to work in radio, but never took the couple of opportunities I had to do that because the pay was much lower. I still regret that I didn't spend at least some time in a radio job. So best of luck to you in your job and with this older man. If you want to pursue things with him, I would say go ahead, but you might have to keep it a secret and be very, very discreet so that he doesn't end up in trouble with the law, because if he does, it is something that will haunt him for the rest of his life, and make it hard for him to get a job, buy a house or car, get married and start a family, etc.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): It is certainly possibile. You are young, probably pretty and have a youthful energy. No doubt he sees you as a promising young woman.
However, if he is a decent guy, he will be very very reluctant to get involved with you since you are underage. Because you are underage, if something were to start between you, he would immediatley look like an opportunist jerk to most of his peers and be critized.
Let the friendship blosom. If the relationship does become romantic, then watch out! He will most likely just be using you for sex no matter what he says otherwise in his defense.
Take the time to really get to know each other, be friendly but still professional (still minding that your interaction is in a work place). Time will tell all!
...............................
A
male
reader, saltwater  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 Hey...
Now what I'm about to say doesn't mean that this guy is like this, and nor am I implying it, but you did ask "Would a man his age notice a girl my age?"
Typically, some men choose younger girls because the man feels that they are easier to get along with; as the younger female often sees the older male as the typical "dominant" one; and because she is younger she is less likely to stand-up to him in the heat of arguement; in other words, going out with a younger girl is less hassle for the older guy.
This is probably why so many guys around 25 years old go out with 16 year old girls because the girl often worships her older, dominant boyfriend; whereas the boyfriend sees the girl as someone who is, not so much easy to control, but less likely to cause him hassle than a woman his own age.
Now as I said, I'm not saying that this is the motive of this guy, and you do say there is an obvious attraction and that you generally like each other.
The key here is you have to trust your *own* feelings; some people will have a problem with the age gap; others won't mind...but it's what *you* feel that is important.
If you want to spend time with him then do; that's fine, but if were you I take it slowly and see how develops.
Good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, Sam999 +, writes (15 July 2008):
I am 49 next month and my wife is 30. Same age difference. Go for it but make sure he is not in it for the sex only.
...............................
|
