A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with my gf for about 10 months now, and everything is going good, but she keeps bringing up her ex all the time, she keeps talking about things they used to do, and how he acted and stuff, but the one thing that threw me off recently, was when I was out of a job, and she was hanging out with me, and said she woulden't leave me even if I didn't have money and etc, but then she got into comparing me to her old ex, saying... "he might have a car and money, and be much better off than you, but I'm still with you even though your broke" and that would seem sweet by her saying that, but why would she bring up how much better off he is than me? and still keep bringing it up for even a couple weeks after, about how he is rich and has nice stuff etc... I'm really confused...
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): Mate, its tough.. I hear about her ex and ex's all the time.. sometime i feel like i am worthless to her.. it got to a point one day when i was watching nfl on tv and she said she had only been to 1 live game.. and the game she went to was the best birthday gift she ever recieved.. i feel like i am compared to them all the time.. and we have been dating for nearly a year.i'd like to think i am a reasonable guy who listens to her and is always there for her.. but sometimes constantly talking about this and that.. it does hurt..so mate, just tell her it hurts when she brings her x's into the conversation all the time.. and hopefully she'll realise that she is hurting your feelings.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): I know how you feel, my girlfriend and I were talking last night and she brought up how she use to cry to her X all the time...I felt like I wasnt good enough for her. I felt like he had something I didnt.
She then texts me and asks me why Im mad? So I was thinking does she really not know? or is she really that sad to ask me such a question?
I think sometimes they just dont realize that they are saying things that can hurt you... I mean before she even mentioned that, we were both very happy. We were laughing and joking, then bam, silence. Also keep in mind that it is very hard to not talk about something that is and was a big part of your/their life. I mean if you love baseball, then you are going to talk about baseball because thats what you know most about right?
I think sometimes that is what they do. That might be the only thing they did for the past year? or so. It will be hard to deal with. What and how I handled this?
I was really heart broken...I told her, what she did really hurt me, to find out, if she knew what she did. Most girls will know, but they dont realize it..they might act like they dont know even though they do. I then explain to her, that you know how much it hurts when you try to compare me and your X? She might say something like im sorry, or she might say something like, "you mean the part about XXXXX conversation?".
Sadly, my story ends in tragic..she tells me what the hell is wrong with that, and never textes back. So it just depends really, perhaps she really didnt understand? how a guy feels. You should try talking to her, but it doesnt mean success.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you, what everyone said helps.
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A
female
reader, bekaaa  +, writes (29 March 2009):
youve got to understand that her ex was a huge part of her life at one point
jus like you are now
however there comes a point where she should just stop
explain to her that it hurts you hearing about him all the time and you dont want to hear it
surely she wouldnt like you talking about an ex?
ask her if she still has feelings for him, her answer will probably be no, then ask the question why she feels the need to talk about him all the time
good luck
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A
female
reader, playlislay +, writes (29 March 2009):
Sometimes people dont realise how they are hurting someone with their words.
I always used to bring up my exhubby as he was a big part of my life for 5 years so I had aslot of stories about him or us. It wasnt until my bf mentioned an event that happened with his ex and my heart slipped into my stomach, thats when I realised how it felt for him. So I did my best not to mention him again.
Be gentle with her and explain that it really does hurt your feelings when she does this.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (29 March 2009):
You just gently have to tell her that her talking about her ex all the time is NOT a good thing to do.
It sounds like she is not very experienced in love and so her ex is all she knows. That's why she keeps mentioning him.
But she has to learn that you DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
Until you open up and tell her that she is going to keep on doing it. So just tell her next time she mentions him that you really would like it if she would stop going on about him.
Good Luck!! xx
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