A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am currently having problems with my girlfriend. A little background info:She is 18 and I am 24. We met online when she was 15 and after about 3 or 4 months things started to blossom and she admitted she loves me. So once she turned 18 she decided to apply for a college near me and was accepted, so we see each other pretty often. Back when we talked to each other online things would get heated through webcam, etc and I can honestly say she seemed a tad selfish when it came to anything sexual.Also we are both virgins and never had past partners.Now here's my problem:When she visits and things get heated up, she'll always end up doing something for me and always tells me that I don't need to return the favor. I would love to just bring her pleasure (fingering, oral, etc..) but she always makes up an excuse as to why we can't do that at the moment. She's also very squeemish when it comes to talking about sex.I will try to initiate it but she always seems to be able to turn it back on me and bring me pleasure.I don't know what to do here. I love her to bits, and I'm worried about her. ):
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2009): I can tell you with near absolute certainty that she is doing it because she is self-concious about her vagina... Ask yourself this: have you ever seen her naked? ever got a look at her vagina? I've read a million stories on the web from girls who are sooo self-concious about their parts that they go onto the internet and ask people to help them come up with new excuses as to why they can't have sex with their BF's because all the old excuses are getting old. Google it if you don't believe me. Wanna know the issue? It's because her inner vagina lips hang out way past the outer lips. Trust me. I could be wrong... but just one question for you: Have you seen her naked yet? Please let us know cuz I will put $$$ on it. Thanks and good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): I would bet that she is just nervous and doesn't want to embarrass herself in front of you. She's probably a little shy about sex and talking about things in person is a little more nerve racking than over the phone or online so try to find a less stressful place to talk about it. Maybe when you're driving somewhere or lying in bed, it tends to be easier when you're not facing each other sometimes too, i know that sounds kind of weird but it really works. Just take it slow, try to talk to her and let her know you want to try things and ask if she can give it a try and if she gets uncomfortable you'll stop. But there's no rush, she'll give it a try when she's ready and more comfortable, for now just enjoy what you have and try to get her more comfortable talking about it.
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A
male
reader, OzBloke  +, writes (25 September 2009):
I don't mean to sound perverse or overly interested in your sex life, but was the 'heated' moments with the web cam full mutual sex or would she more or less pose for your pleasure?
I am not sure what you mean by saying she was selfish during the heated moments through web cam. And how it opposes what happens when things are heated in person. I am not asking for graphic detail, merely a little clarification to better understand.
Well, to answer as best I can without knowing how the web cam and personal interactions differ I'll go out on a limb and suggest that maybe she just isn't ready. She obviously cares for you if she wants to give you pleasure. All you can do is relax, don't put much pressure on her, and wait.
You said she's squeemish about discussing sex with you, so I guess you can't ask her how she feels without making her feel uncomfortable. Hang in there, I am sure everything will be fine.
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