A
male
age
36-40,
*r4g3dy
writes:My girl(24) and I(21) have had a, ON and OFF dating history over the past 3 years but over the past 11 months we have been realllly serious. When we got back together (11 months ago) we used to have sex alllllll the time, im talking like 4-5 times a day. after 6 months we downed it two a reasonable once a day. But now presently it down to once a week and i have to beggg for it(i feel pethetic).Before i say anything else, i find myself to be very attractive with a sexy athletic body and every time we have sex i make her orgasm.she used to have to stimulate herself to orgasm but in an attempt to better our sex life she found out i can do it better and now its my job 100% of the time.I felt like she is getting bored of me and i've asked her about it and she insists its not me. she realizes it is a problem and has gone off the pill as an attempt to renew her libido but it has not worked, still once a week after excessive begging not to mention i have to do 150% of the work now(including undressing, she just lays there).Furthermore, i really love her and we have been thinking about getting married over the last three months but now this problem is starting to make me want to wait and rethink marriage.(my sisters marriage ended in divorce on account of her husband never wanting sex). Im scared that its been 11 months and were having sex once a week how is it gonna be in 6 months...I told her i want to wait to get married and shes acting like i don't want to marry her anymore. i dont feel like i would be happy with a relationship if we were to continue only having sex once a week. She says i am selfish for feeling this way and im selfish for "not trying to understand or help it". im trying to understand but i keep thinking shes just bored with me and when i say this she says "not everything is about you.." im 21 ffs are my feelings legit?
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divorce, got back together, libido, orgasm, sex life, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, le Boutiller +, writes (30 July 2010):
If a woman is attracted to you,then she will sleep with you,unless she is a virgin and wishes to remain chaste until she's married,I cannot see why a woman who is your girlfriend,attracted to you and in love with ypu won't sleep with you,to be frank it makes little sense,
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 November 2009):
I am really glad you can see how to make things nicer for her, and I'm sure you will find she'll make things nicer for you in return.
It's the littlest things like just going up and hugging her and kissing her neck and telling her she's beautiful, and then letting her get on with things.
It takes 3 seconds but means so much that you find her sexy but aren't just after sex.
The physical contact that has nothing to do with sex is THE Biggest turn on for us girls. It's all about making her feel sexy.
Just watching her and saying "you look so hot in those jeans" will work wonders.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, tr4g3dy +, writes (23 November 2009):
tr4g3dy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the advice, i can see how i am making it a chore.. i will try to be more romantic although i already do romantic gestures like breakfast in bed and buy her surprise gifts often(nothing too expensive but just to show her i am thinking of her..)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): Forget marriage or now ok.
Emily is right you have made it a chore, remember sex is emotional for girls, not just physical like us.
Leave it for a while and definately try to reintroduce some romance, it works then I think marriage, but if it doesnt then the relationship has sadly run its course
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 November 2009):
If every time you want to have sex with her you beg and nag for it, it's no wonder she feels like it's a chore.
Do you want the sex, or do you want to make love to her because you care about her so much?
And what would she say in answer to the above question? I bet she feels like you just want sex, and just want to use her to get off.
Try bringing some romance back into it. When was the last time you gave her a back rub just because she'd had a bad day? Kiss her passionately and just leave it at that, it doesn't have to be a way to get into her pants.
Tell her you are going to stop asking for sex you'll wait till SHE wants you. Make her feel loved, go crazy for a week with flowers and telling her how gorgeous she looks. She'll probably rock your world.
Good Luck!! xx
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