A  ,
*elsi
writes:I am a female involved emotionally with another female. I am in my early 40's and she is in her early 30's. We have been going out together for about six months. She has told me she is very interested in me. She is married and has been for 8 years. She has been with her husband for a total of 13 years. They do not have sex because she can not stand sex with a male. She did tell me she was Bi and was ready to have a relationship with me; however she started to go to Church. She loves her husband very much but is not, and never has been in love with him the way a wife should love a husband. She told me last night that she was going to try marriage counseling. When I told her that her descision has really screwed things up for us she said yes I guess it has. But she followed that up with "marriages don't last forever, but friendships do". I'm not sure if she was trying to leave the door open for us if the marriage counseling to work out or what. I want to tell her how I really feel. I want to tell her I love her. What do you think? Please help!! I'm desperate. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2005): She gave you her answer-maybe not as clearly as she could have I quote: "When I told her that her decision has really screwed things up for us she said yes I guess it has," (sounds quite nonchalant) What does that tell you? She wants to work on her marriage and make it better and is looking at you 'only' as a good friend-at least for now.
Look it, as far as her hubby and her go, you have NO idea if what she has been telling you about him is the truth, unless you were a living under their roof and I don't think that happened. I think you want more from her than she is prepared to give you and I think this was her "indirect" way of maneuvering out of the relationship with you. Sorry to be blunt...but that is the way I interpret what she said. Give her space and time and see if she calls you, someday. But for goodness sake..don't wait around for that day..move on with your life and find someone you love who'll give you honest answers and NOT keeping you hanging around until she's bored with hubby again. It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants, anyways..the woman is lugging around too much emotional baggage from her marriage. Get on with your life and leave her to deal with hers. But, tell her what you are planning and be upfront about it..just so she doesn't come barging back into your life when you have a new partner. She doesn't want the love and intimacy anymore. It's over. Accept it and when you start dating-leave the married ones alone. That's my opinion...take it or leave it. Good luck
Irish
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