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male
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writes: My g/f of 5 years says that she still loves having sex with me, and that she is disappointed that we have been having it less and less. The problem is, is that she constantly makes herself "unavailable" to me. She says she wants it, then she doesn't. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2006): Woo. Hold on a minute. I wouldn't assume by this that she is cheating on you!
This might seem a bit obvious - but why don't you just ask her why you think one minute she wants it, and the next she doesn't? There's probably an understandable explanation there!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2006): She could be cheating on you. Never know, you should check that out. Or she's lying to you about wanting to have sex because she doesnt want you to feel bad and think that she has lost interest in you, when she really maybe feeling tired. In that case, help her with chores, work, anything so that you could help her relieve some stress and show more interest in sex. She may have insecurities about her body all of a sudden, she wants to have sex, but doesnt feel that she looks sexy enough to have sex because she may have gained a couple of pounds. Or she may just want you really bad and teases you and wants you to be agressive and take over her. women love for a man to take charge when it comes to bed and hate to have to make the first move. Or some women, she may be turned off by your advances toward her. she may be thinking right now that all you want is sex and that you're being too unromantic. women love romance! Help her with chores, run her a bath, take her out to eat, I bet you'll get her turned on and available. Dont just make everything about sex because not all women like just that, they love romance also. Try talking to her, ask her if she has insecurities, if she expeirnces pain while having sex, if she got bored of sex all the time, what you can do to spice things up. It could be a number a things. Let her know that she could trust you and that she doesnt need to feel embarrased, scared, or shy to let you know whats going on with her. You have to talk in order to figure things out. I hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (5 June 2006):
 Thats odd. Obviously there is something a little more to this than there appears to be on the surface because her actions are contray to her stated aim. I think you need to talk things through and get to the bottom of what is really happening here. Plan a special night so you can both unwind and relax and take it from there; dont make it aggresive. You may even find the night prepareing the way for a sexual encounter if things go really well. Hope that helps.
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