A
male
age
36-40,
*reddy_8419
writes:Ok so my girlfriend wants a break after we celebrated 11 months together. My girlfriend that night told me some personal problems she had and i was shocked that i didn't know about. We spend around 3-4 nights together and it has been fantastic until after xmas.I lost mt job from the same company my girlfriend works at and her father who is a director. Since then i have spent many aweeks chasing jobs up and success after 6 long weeks. The only problem is it shot my confidence within me and our relationship. I believed it would have an affect but always tried to be positive spin on it. Unfortunately i betrayed my trust for her as she startd receiving texts from long lost ex's/friends from 5 years ago. She says they are friends but due to their history and i checked my girlfrieds mobile. I betraded her trust and showed a lack of it. We have tried to repair the damage and i have tried my best with no funds to win the girl i love and want. The good news is i have a job but the same week my girlfriend wants a break to see if her trust for me can be repaired. She told me her health is't well and when visiting the docs all the time telling me she was fine hmmm she wasn't at all.....that was a shock.That evening she told me "i may need a weeks break soon so please try and understand.I reacted ok with it at the time so i suggested it the next day by email. She loved the suggestion and we agreed to meet on the....get this valentines day!! I know. So that was tues and this is 3 days later i've text her around 8 tmes between weds night/thurs morning. I've learned that i need to leave her to it and wait. I've arranged to be busy this week with the lads but she has posted every moment and planning on facebook.........why is this. I frustrates me not to see her hurting but what can i do, i'm not the the person to show everything to random frends and neither was she until after xmas.Please help on my dilemma
View related questions:
a break, confidence, facebook, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, freddy_8419 +, writes (15 February 2011):
freddy_8419 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi. Just an update for all you guys out there in the same position. I refraimed from contact until sunday morning, it was so hard but from tuesday to sunday with a wee bit of chit chat inbetween the pressure just got to me.
We had conversations via text sunday night before meeting up monday night. The texts really didn't help & it just made it harder, my advice give t a week & be strong. We met up on monday & spent 5 hours talking. We spoke,didn't argue & the main thing was good communication & honesty. We have decided to give it another go. The main problems that we are going to work on is be more open, not to try and hurt each other & look to the future. My gf has problems of her own, she says she doesn't know what happened to her for the last 4 years since she got with her ex. Her ex was a bully, controlling & put her down a lot even though she is so so attractive! She needs to rediscover herself & that was one of the stumbling blocks we had to discuss. She still feels that she doesn't know herself but for her to tell me she can't loose me as a friend let alone a bf that to me tells alot! Maybe i'm being naive but she is perfect to me.
A
male
reader, freddy_8419 +, writes (11 February 2011):
freddy_8419 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTh hardest thing is that i can feel it coming to an end because of this week apart. I just found out I've been offered a really good job and all the time she has been there for me, asking all the time how i've got on and motivated me to get to this point.I don't want to accept it may come to an end because of my love and feels for her. I screwed up with the trust but for the last 4 week i've been trying to repair it and even she has admitted she hasn't been into the relationship as much as me.....which hurts!I know when when we do meet up i'll be strong enough to ask the questions that need to asked e.g. after finding out about the texts she has not stopped replying to them, this makes me feel crap so should she not want to change that and move forward.Thanks for your response, any views will be much appreciated. I was in contact with her mum today to let her know about the job news. I mentioned to pass this on to xxx and tell her thank you. I'm being strong to resit the temptation to contact her.....it does drive me crazy but i want to be strong enough to give her that space. On the other hand i want to tell her how i feel and the questions i want to ask.Thanks
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): It seems to me that she wants to finish with you but can not quite bring herself to do it. So she is keeping you dangling. 'Needing space' is often an excuse to begin to draw a relationship to a close. The signs are there that she wants you to get the message. I may be wrong, but from your post it seems you'd be best off to realise that it's over in so many words.
...............................
|
