A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for almost 7 months. For the first 4 months we spent heaps of time together, however recently she has been really busy with her schooling and has spent little time with me. I have found this hard to believe because she was able to see me before when she was going to school. I was ok with this and thought that she was asking for space and as hard as it was, I let her have space.For the last 5 days i didn't have a phone and finally got a new one. When i turned it on i found a msg from my girlfriend telling me that we really needed to talk. I called her straight away and she told me that she went out a few days ago and met a girl who had apparently kissed me 5 months ago at a college party. I was at this party with my friends and I got really drunk, I was so drunk that I honestly did not remember a thing the next morning and still do not remember a thing from that night. The worst part is that I called her that night and asked if she could pick me up at 4am, and she did. She is really cut that I kissed another girl and then asked her to pick me up (as you would) and implied that I was using her. She believes that, even though I was drunk I should have been able to realize that after kissing this girl I should not have asked her to pick me up. She believes that when I was asking her to pick me up, I would have known that I kissed a girl yet I still asked her.When she asked me if I had kissed this girl I didn’t want to lie to her and I told her that I didn’t know what I did that night, I said that there was a small chance that I kissed this girl but I highly doubted that I would have done so. When I asked my friend about it he told me that she kissed me when I was almost falling over, I then pushed her away after like two seconds and told her to get f###. I believe him. Last night I dropped a letter off at her place and let her know everything that I new and told her that I was sorry.It is driving me insane, enough to write on the internet about it. I don’t think that this could have come at a worse time. I feel like an absolute jerk but at the same time I also feel like I didn’t do anything that bad. I am not going to crawl to her and beg her to go out with me because as I said I do not think that I did anything that bad. Finally I feel more distant that ever from her. I don’t think that she wants to go out with me anymore. I still want to go out with her, however I will not be too upset because part of me also wants to move on. If we did break up I would still want to be friends with her because she is a really cool girl to hang out with but I am not sure if I could see her without wanting to kiss her.What should I do?? Is it possible to stay friends with her if we broke up?? Is what I did even that bad, or is it just bringing forth the issues that we have?Also I am 20 and so is she.
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female
reader, caz0113  +, writes (4 September 2007):
I think you did the right thing by telling her she would of been even more upset if you hadnt of told her what happened. Yes its possible to still be friends when i was going out with a guy he told me that he had only been going out with me for sex but all my friends was friends with him and eventually we got round to it and we was friends and we got on better. I would talk to her she how she feels and if it comes to just being friends with her let it be she will soon realise what she is missing out on.
Caz0113 x x x
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Hi
If your mate is right about what happened then maybe shes over reacting a tad. But its hard to say if she was cooling off a bit before that anyway.
But some people can stay mates with exes. Not always a wise move for a while but eventually it can work.
If she doesnt want to still be with you after you have explained everything then thats what you will have to accept.
I happen to think you did the right thing explaining it all in a letter. Its a shame lots of guys dont do that.
Good luck with it.
C xxxx
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