A
male
age
30-35,
*hris060690
writes:me and my girlfriend have been together for about 3 months it seems great and we are both soo in love but sometimes i feel like being kind of ignored like if her cousin or one of my friends is there she acts different.i need help because most of the times i get pissed off and she says im sorry i didnt notice!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): My g/f does this too mate, ussualy though she includes me in the conversation. Just say to her, I want you to introduce me and include me in the conversations so I don't feel left out! she properly dosen't think you care
A
female
reader, Skeez  +, writes (14 September 2007):
 My boyfriend does the same. When we are with his friends, he doesnt talk much to me. If I say something silly he will make a big deal about it and make me look more of a fool. But what she does is possibly change her attitude coz she wants to impress others. Same with my boyfriend. He likes to look like the smarty and intelligant one.She probably doesnt realise she is doing it. But if it bothers you then talk to her. Communication is your key. Tell her how bothered you are about it and the next time you go out with friends, put yur arm around her and speak to her yourself and get yourself into the conversations. After a while she will start talking to you more around friends. dont worry its ntohing serious and doesnt mean shes embarresed by you. we all have our changes when we meet other people.
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A
male
reader, Rollo Tomassi +, writes (14 September 2007):
Women base their self-affiramtions on attention. How much they command from men AND other women is a gauge of status and self-worth. In all likelihood your GF is around your own age of 16-17 and this is all the more important at her stage of adolescence. She doesn't notice her own behavior because she become locked into an attention garnering cycle around friends. Attention is a commodity for her. Since you've already confirmed your attention as a given, it has less value than attention she has to earn from others. In other words, your attention has less value than that of others.Now, don't think she does this maliciously or by design, she may very well not be aware of her behavior, let alone her own need for attention, most women aren't and those who are emphatically deny it since it comes with a social stigma (i.e Attention Whore status). What you need to learn is the value of attention. Increase value through scarcity, too much circulation makes the price go down. When you're too readily available to her your attention becomes worthless and taken for granted. The key is to strategically take away your attention incrementally so she seeks after you. We only chase what runs away from us.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): Kind of immature to get pissed off if your girlfriend does not give you attention when she is with her family or friends around you....no wonder she acts stand offish.
Maybe she is waiting for you to assert your personality into the group, instead of hanging back and pouting because you aren't getting her full attention...
Couples have to learn how to act together when they are out in a group, you haven't been a couple very long, so don't cling onto her and hang your mood on how she acts in public around you when she is with her close family and friends, just try not letting it affect you and try being yourself around these people and focus your attention on getting to know them a little and enjoying their company, otherwise they are going to think something is wrong with YOU!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): i would'nt worry too much. when im with my girlfriend and best friend at the same time, i make a concious effort to be more engrossed in his conversation so he doesn't feel like the dreaded spare wheel. maybe she is doing this unconciously?
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