A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is upset and crying because she saw me kissing another girl. Now she thinks I'm gonna leave her but I'm not. I really love her. How can I reassure her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI tried to comfort her and explain it too. Did I mention I'm also her cousin? She and I are in love. It's crazy, but its true. Anyway she was too upset. I tried holding her and she pushed me away and yelled at me and hit me.
A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (13 February 2011):
there's nothing else you can do, it's entirely up to her.
respect her feelings by not pestering her to forgive you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told her I was sorry but she wouldn't listen .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): If you love her why were you kissing another women? How did your girlfriend see this?
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A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (12 February 2011):
Um, I don't know if you SHOULD even be reassuring her because what exactly does she want reassurance about? that you won't leave her (even though you may still be cheating on her)? Or that you will stop cheating on her? Because it's really hard, once caught, to assure your partner that you won't do it again, the mistrust is very difficult for them to get over. But if she wants assurance that you won't leave her, even though she caught you cheating on her, does she not care if you stay but continue to be kissing other people??If you mean how can you reassure her that you love her - again I don't think you really can do it, because she caught you kissing someone else. That pretty much cancels out all your past proclamations of love to her. the most you can do is apologize and - if you are sincere - promise never to cheat on her again. And to let her get as angry and upset as you, for as long as she is going to. But whether it will be enough to reassure her or not, is out of your hands.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): I think it's really sad that your girlfriend's worst fear is that you'll leave her...I think she should be a lot more worried about staying with you, why you did what you did, and when it will happen again.
You want to reassure her you won't leave her or you want to reassure her it won't happen again? I think your priorities are so misplaced.
How do you reassure her? You can't. You cheated and broke her trust. She might stay with you a while because you try to comfort her, but she won't be able to trust you anymore the way she once did. Are you ever afraid she might leave you? If she's at all intelligent, she should consider it.
I doubt you can reassure her, but you could start with an apology for what you did.
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