A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 and I have been with my girlfriend for nearly three years. In the last 12 months we have only had about sex three times. Each of those times she has only made love to me as a chore. I have brought up my concerns with her. However, she always blames me or says she is tired. Is wrong of me to expect that she should want me sexually? She make me feel that sex is dirty and taboo. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): "She make me feel that sex is dirty and taboo"
My ex wife used to do the same thing to me.
In the end I got the courage to leave.
Hope it works out for you
A
female
reader, Gremma  +, writes (11 June 2008):
Young men, I wish they got more than just the "banana talk" from home. Here is likely your answer young man. Woman are not made the same way men are (aside from the obvious I mean). For women sex starts earlier in the day, maybe even the night before. Tried and true, not failed yet, you do the work, I don't mean sexually. You make her happy, you make her orgasm and ask for nothing in return, you don't enter her, you don't even bring it up. Then you lie next to her and cuddle with her, tel her that seeing her fullfilled surprised you and made you happy. You'd never realized before that her fullfillment made you feel so good. Wait a few days and then repeat this again. She'll expect that you'll ask for "payment" now, but you ask for nothing in return. Tell her that you realized that in the past you hadn't realized her orgasm didn't happen. Now that you know how amazing it is for her, and how amazing for you to be able to watch it happen her it is great. It won't be long before she insists that she also make you happy. Making a woman happy is a powerful ability. I know a woman who became a gourmet cook just to make her husband happy (she only cooks for him), another woman who turned the family room into his special "sports" room, and another woman who she and her husband have developed "secret words" they say to each other, she almost had an orgasm over the phone talkin' to him. When a woman is made happy as much as a man, she will do all she can to make him happy and vice-versa. Women may take a little more work, first because they are insercure, that are they being compared to other women or what turns them on is somehow wierd or sick; second, that they can trust you, you won't laugh or do things you said you wouldn't do; and third, that there is something wrong with them if they take longer than either you or they think they should. Once past these things, sex becomes the pleasure it should be. Remember, judging or critizing only adds to their insecurity thereby lengthening the goal.
Believe me, a satisfied woman is worth every moment you spend. From an Aunt married 54 years I asked is it still wonderful, she laughed and said, "We still have our ups and downs!" and she grinned. It takes two people to have lousy sex, it takes time to develop a full-proof system.
So get out there fool!
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A
male
reader, iamthesupreamegod +, writes (11 June 2008):
 Maybe your libidoes are out of sync. Think about what time you usually try to start the act. Is it in the morning? Or at night?
This can, not always, but can be a factor. Guys are more apt to be at their peak in the morning, while women are at theirs at night. If you think this is why, then experiment what time of day you get the best luck with.
Or maybe it really is that she is too tired. Consider what her day consists of. If she has a job then that could be a factor. If this is the case, then maybe you should plan a day for the two of you to spend together. Just you two. No work, no friends, and NO PHONES. But don't plan it with sex in mind. Make sure that it is something that the two of you are genuinely going to enjoy. And don't be discouraged if it doesn't lead to sex. It may take a few "dates" to get to that. Just what ever you do, don't push it.
Another reason is that your sex life might have gotten stale. Next time, she does her "chore", mix it up. Have something unexpeceted planned. Try to make it something that you two haven't already experimented with. And since I have no idea where your sex life has led you in the past, I will not even attemp to suggest anything.
One other thing to consider is how she responds to you in general. If you two get along great and the main relationship part is progressing well, then you probably don't have to worry about this part. However, if you notice that you two are just going through the motions of the relationship, you may need to do something to fix it. If this is the case, then sit down with her and tell her that you feel like your relationship isn't where you feel it should be. Don't even mention the sex aspect, because, if this is the reason, the problem goes deeper than sex. Hopefully this is not the reason though. I would advise holding of on this possibility until all others have been exhausted.
I don't know if I have anything else to add to this, so I will close by saying, Good luck.
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