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male
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*airyTale
writes: My gf of 2 years recently just broke up with me, she says that she doesn't have feelings for me anymore...I really love her and do not want this relationship to just end like this...She says i don't give her space... She moved in and lived with me... what space can i give her ???She says i don't let her go out with her friends.... But i have never said anything about not letting her go out with her friends ever... it's just that she spends time with me all the time and not with her friends.... i never disagreed on her goingout with her friends.... but now she is blaming it on me...After we broke up, she has been seeing her ex 'as friends' again. Her ex treated her really bad when they were dating, he didn't care much for her, he hits her and has anger problems, he cheated on her as well. I think she still had feelings for him when we were dating and still does. But i just don't get it, i treated her with all my love, i gave her anything, everything she wanted when we where dating, i just don't understand how she still has feelings for her ex when he treated her so bad... Now, knowing that she is still in contact with this guy, i am really worried for her and do not wish she would go out with him or have anything to do with him...I really want her back with me, i know i should give her time and space, that is what i am doing right now, but i just can't stand the fact that she is spending time with this guy... i really just dont want them to hook up together, because i know this guy will not be able to bring her happiness.Please guys, give me some advice on what to do... I really want to be back with her...I tried, i really tried hard to forget about her and concertrate on other things in my life, but it just isn't working, ive done everything to try and forget about her, but all i seem to do is think about her...She is rarely home nowdays, always going out or busy, i seriously don't know what she is doing and it's killing me not knowing what she is up too....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2006): Well bro, you say you are cool with her going out with her friends and stuff ? She accused you of not letting her hang out with her friends, and you are denying those accusations ? And your post has alot of "I want this" and "I want that" and you "know" whats good for her. It almost sounds like you want to "decide" whats good for her, which you really cant. You don't know if her ex bf is good or bad for her. No matter how he is, its up to her to decide what she should do with him not you.Also, you said it bothers you that you don't know what she's doing.. and you would like to know. Well, she is not sleeping with 10 guys thats for sure..but she is single and can do whatever she wants so in reality you have no right to know what she is doing. I say move on, don't talk to her at all..cut all communication and see what happens. If she doesn't bother to call you or w/e.. then you know the real deal.
A
male
reader, FairyTale +, writes (17 October 2006):
FairyTale is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice Backah, i really apreciate it.
Thing is, this ex of hers (not me... the other guy) treated her so badly in the past... why the heck would she still want to be around him... or even have feelings for him... I don't know, maybe i am just being selfish, or just immature but i really do not want him near her or have anything to do with her. This guy is trying to pick her up again, and i really don't want that to happen. I still love her and still want to patch things up with her, as long as there is a chance for us to be together again i will hold on to that chance, even if its 1%...
I am giving her space now, after we broke up i hardly call her or talk to her, but it's killing me knowing that she is hanging around that guy, and going out with others almost everyday...
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A
female
reader, Beckah  +, writes (16 October 2006):
 I'm not an expert but to me it sounds like this girl is confused about something. She's asking for space so in my opinion i'd give it to her. I can't make up my mind whether she is going out with her ex's to get a reaction from you, or whether it's something she genuinely wants, what do you think?
I'm a female and i have no shame in saying that girl 'mates' have a good way of making you question your feelings. It's sometimes a little feminist but there is no initial harm behind it, however it is like planting a seed and watching it grow. Sometimes friends get jealous that their friend has a boyfriend that cares about their friend (your g/f) so attempt to put them off. However this is just a hunch, who knows.
I'm going through a similar situation with a friend of mine, her boyfriend has just broke it off with her, after over a year of an obviously happy relationship. Claiming that he can't handle work and her, but i catch him looking at her, he still wears cardigans and uses the bag that's hers, so again confusing. But never-the-less i'll give you the same advice that i gave to her; she's asking for space, so give it her, not in a mallicious or unkind way but get on with your life, and see how she is. Maybe all she needs is a little space to reassess the situation and her feelings, if like you said it was her pushing the moving in and saying no to friends then maybe she is just missing them, and doesn't think that you can have it either way.
I hope i've been a little help, if it helps you can message me i'll help as much as i can...
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